My Mammogram

 MARY T SACHS BREAST CENTER. Scott and I were pulling in. Yes, he drives me everywhere. My Nissan Sentra needs a new battery and he is not ready to get me one.

It should be a cinch to get the mammogram. Every two years my family doctor schedules me. I trust him so I do what he says.

I already know that I can't put the gown on correctly, so I ask the kind lady to help me. I removed my clothes and she wraps a warm - yes! - a warm coral colored gown around me. Whew! That was the worst part.

Other than my 'bad leg' which is getting slowly better. 

Then I sit and wait for my name to be called. Where were the magazines I was gonna read? Ah yes. Everything must be sanitized. Damn I could've read a book for half an hour instead of twiddle my thumbs.

Breast cancer? I was fairly certainly I didn't have it. Nursed my two babies. Avoided tobacco. Ate healthy foods with the right kind of 'fat' - and stopped eating delicious foods on account of my diabetes.

Waiting in the well lit waiting room, our names were called quickly.

I stood up and followed Jackie and Carrie into Room Two.

What? They didn't even ask 76 year old moi if I was pregnant?

I surrendered my breasts to the machine, which wheezed and snorted and twirled around like a ballerina.

Since I am short, the machine bent down.

I realized with a shock the pain was excruciating.

Yes, excruciating.

They knew. It will only be another minute. Now hold your breath.

Once they had to take two pictures to get my lymph nodes in.

Do you wanna rest, they would ask me.

Absolutely not!

Finally, finally it was over.

I staggered my way into the changing room and like a big girl figured out where to toss my coral colored gown.

Where would Scott be waiting?

There he was sitting in a well lit room, holding my back pack so no one would steal it.

Wow, that was fast, he said.

I walked as fast as a thoroughbred to his car and slid in, side saddle, as I always do.