For dinner, in less than half an hour, I whipped up this lovely shrimp dish. Into the olive oil, I stirred green pepper, mushrooms, and shrimp, and seasoned it only with 2 bay leaves and a scoop of coconut oil. Who knew it would be so delicious?
Meantime I was talking on the phone and sharing our therapy list with a man who wants help for his daughter.
At Mike's Hike yesterday, Becky passed out some green grapes at our table at Churchville Inn. I bought mine this morning and am eating them for dessert.
When I dropped Scott off at the train this evening, I told him I really need a break, I've been working so hard. He reminded me that I spent two long periods at his house today watching movies, with more movie-watching tonite.
What are you gonna do, he asked me, when I watch the 7th and final episode of Prime Suspect starring Helen Mirren? Are you gonna call them up and tell her to come out of retirement?
I was beginning to worry that my crusade for OpenAccess at Creekwood Mental Health Center was going nowhere and began jotting down names of smart people I might call for help. I only thought of one smart person, but didn't need his assistance b/c a meeting has been arranged for us this Friday at Abington Hospital.
Tomro I go for 'psychiatric clearance' to see if I can handle a kidney transplant. My family doctor asked me what I thought about seeing a psychiatrist after all these years. "I think it'll be fun," I said.
Dyou spose I should tell her about my addictions? Here, lemme name a few of them, and you can lemme know what you think?
- Reading the online NY Times
- Checking out free library videos from the nearest library
- Reading good books such as Wolf Hall about King Henry 8
- Blogging
- Checking my emails
- Running out of the car to retrieve my camera to take with me
Watched an excellent movie from the sixth wave of Chinese filmmakers. Still Life concerns the resettlement of ONE MILLION PEOPLE from their 2,000-year-old ancestral homeland due to the building of the Three Gorges Dam over the Yangtze River in central China. Once again, we see the greedy need for power to destroy two millennium's worth of peerless civilization. The filmmaker lovingly shows us every single person, in closeup, his camera can reach to show us the simply beauty of the people affected by this drastic brutal change.
And now it's onward with the Compass. The hardest part is writing the Editor's Corner, which is sort of a summation of the current issue. I always dread it. However, I was editing Laura's fine story, and I began to get mad about the treatment she got when she was in dire need of kindness.
She was in fullblown psychosis and was made to wait in the waiting room of a local unnamed psych hospital for 8 to 10 hours while she was being "processed" like a fucking piece of cattle.
I just excused myself from the editing process and went ahead and wrote my column.
And don't worry, dear reader, I never curse in public.
Hey, let's finish up with a bracing poem.
A COLD BRACING SWIM OVER DEATH
always I remembered the pool
cold winds blew on the deck
I drew my shawl close
glanced at the pool
not long
shy as a lover
I’d swim her by the end of the week
but not today
too cold
my flesh quailed
an aging fading beauty
my life mostly spent
must do one last swim
okay to die while breasting the waves
Beatles music blared from hidden speakers
the passengers must not be allowed to think
must be entertained and numbed for seven straight days
it took for god to create the earth or
was it the ship’s deck
I found freedom on the deck
begone all servants and waiters hovering
let me feel frigid and alone
let me feel helpless and afraid
let me lay my own nightgown upon the coverlet
the water was salty they said
like the quiet mediterranean that flowed below
and kept us afloat
while we did the modern things
people on cruises do
I wrote in my diary some
thanked Medron, our bowlegged attendant
kissed my grown daughter goodnight
all the while thinking of the pool
and my deathdefying swim
dropped my robe on deck
stood alone beneath the flags
no one was there
a cold blue sky shone with classic indifference
as we swayed tethered upon italy’s shore
and if there was a moon
I never saw it
as I lowered myself down the ladder
trembling with cold and fear and need
my legs remembered what to do
as I kicked off from the pool
ears submerged as
the cold wrapped me like the moon goddess’s embrace
all white and shiny
in a firm white Grace Kelly glove
sailing across the pool
finally finally coming alive
and feeling the pain and the needles of being alive
in the salty salt water of life.
Interesting poem that brought up all sorts of feelings for me, but in the end life, even with its pain, win out, for people like us who have struggled... who feel much and who are survivors in spite of it all. Nice images!
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