Helen Mirren as detective Jane Tennison in Prime Suspect. The show ran for 15 seasons in the UK and was the prototype of the graphic crime shows we see on TV today. Tennison was the first female head of a large police department and altho she was tough, smart, and incorruptible she struggled mightily w/loneliness and lack of intimacy in her private life. This complex character was breathed into life by Helen Mirren, who was born in 1945.
What a strange feeling watching all 22 hours of Prime Suspect within a week, feeling totally inundated by the personality of Jane Tennison and then, between discs, trying to go about real life. Surely there's a metaphor in there about modern life - being raised by a strong parent, being addicted to dopamine-increasing drugs, immersion into a fantasy life like the 60s rock n roll scene. But I'll let people smarter than me figger that one out.
Mid-episode, I shut it off and went home to prepare dinner: again, that delicious fresh shrimp dish - Scott and I smacked our lips - and then I got ready for our support group meeting. A big one. Nancy and Eric were coming out from the County to listen to our concerns about mental health facilities.
We went around the room. Nearly every single person in the room spoke. Some people had nothing but good things to say about their mental health care. Maybe 5 percent of the people there. And the other 95 percent told horror stories, stories which we, as consumers of mental health care, are so used to hearing it barely shocks us anymore.
Ever see the movie Judgment at Nuremberg?
With the County as witnesses, our struggles took on importance. Just the act of being heard, listened to, trusted. Taken seriously. Not dismissed. And not told, it's your imagination, dear, there there it's not so bad. (For you see, Dear Reader, tis very very bad indeed.)
The two of them were compassionate and offered to do what they could to help move things forward.
They know. They know. We hid nothing. And they listened.
Afterward we broke into our small group discussions. I always meet with newcomers. I send out an email the next day asking people to keep in touch w/one another. We had a big group, made larger by 3 student nurses from Jefferson U. We asked for their comments and they pledged to be sensitive to our needs after they graduated.
Now, when we were going around the circle, a funny thing happened to me. Towards the end of the evening - by now it was nearing on 10 pm - I unconsciously began thinking of going home and watching the final episode of Prime Suspect.
Suddenly as I was talking to a newcomer, I turned into Jane Tennison. (If my daughter would read this she would go absolutely berserk w/laffter.) Anyway, I was wearing this fancy jacket cuz I figgered the room would be freezing, and it made me feel like, hmmm, not exactly a fake, but like somebody official - Ruthie in a Suit, Ruthie in Armor - tho of course no one knew this but me.
And as I questioned this young bipolar b'ful newcomer I flashed back to Jane Tennison.
Quite a feeling. But that's what life's all about, isn't it? Feelings...and what we do with them.
After the meeting, Mike, who was sitting next to me, gave me 2 sticks of wrapped gum he found on the carpet.
I popped one of em in my mouth, telling him I'd started chewing gum again. He'd never heard of Blackjack, which Helen had offered me a couple weeks ago, commencing a temporary return to my teenage gum-chewing years.
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