Hard to believe that Rob Lokoff - August 31, 1958 - June 22, 2019 - has passed away.
He was 60 years old.
Scott and I drove to the Joseph Levine Funeral Home where every spot in the parking lot was taken.
The sanctuary, above, was filled and people were in a receiving line to offer their condolences.
If you wish, remember Rob Lokoff with a gift from New Directions Support Group. Make a PayPal donation from our website, or send to New Directions, Box 181, Hatboro PA 19040.
I had been a good friend of Rob's for many years, never having met most of his large family. Rob had been married - and divorced - to Naomi and they had three children. They met in a psych hospital. Naomi and her husband were there.
Rob would always help me out. He was a great morale-booster. He would also tell me how he would drive his elderly relatives to appointments. Aunt Thelma, among them.
He loved helping people.
Just checked the Jewish Exponent. His mother's death is on there, but not Rob's.
Altho Rob, at the time of his death, was living in his condo in Conshohocken, I knew him when he lived in an apartment in Elkins Park. His sons, Jacob and Sam, would come over and he'd make them lunch. His eldest, Amy, was away at college. He always had a piano, which he loved to play. His sons and he would also play tennis outside on the courts.
I'd visit there upon occasion and use the pool. He also hosted some truly great accompanists in his apartment. Wouldn't it be great, he'd say, if he could support himself as a musician?
Once, New Directions held a performance at the Daily Grind Coffee Shop in Hatboro, PA, and there was Roberto, as I used to call him, with his best friend Phil Martino, playing the drums.
Family members ascended the podium and spoke. Every single one of them was in shock!
Long Beach Island was their meeting place on the Jersey shore.
He never felt comfortable meeting there, as there were so many prominent people, including his dad, who had founded Bryn Mawr Stereo. His dad was at the funeral.
Hugging and kissing were of immense comfort to everyone there.
I wanted to spend more time looking at the photo time-line - below - but the funeral woman pulled it away. Where, I asked, will Rob be buried?
The family will decide that, she said. Shiva will be at brother Jamie & Jodi Lokoff's house in Philly.
Rob was driving at top speeds in Long Beach Island, and, writes Ada, the article said he hit a trash truck and another truck at a red light going 100 mph.
The EMTs tried to save him but to no avail. They said there was an aura about the dying individual. Something really special.
The funeral was very emotional. Dr. Pam London sat next to me and was dabbing her eyes. (She now works at Eagleville Hospital.)
All sorts of theories were mentioned as to why he died now.
Possibly because his mom, Kay Lokoff, wasn't there to protect him.
We love you Robert Howard Lokoff.
*
Comment by Sandy Salveter on Rob’s death:
I met Rob Lukoff around 2005, when I first started going to ND. He was on his meds and under control at that time, but had just come out of a divorce after going off his meds and ending up walking the streets of a California town. I think his parents went to look for him and found him on the streets, and brought him home to PA. It was too much for his wife, who initiated the divorce.
I always admired him so much because he always kept trying, even in the face of all the difficulties his bipolar caused him. He talked about how much his Mother and Father supported him. He graduated with a degree in music, and was quite a good musician. He was part of a group that played at various social functions, which he enjoyed.
Rob was a gentle man, who when off his meds became a different, wild-eyed, out-of-control person when his interior devils took over. This last time, the devils took him away forever. I hope they have finally let go of him, so he can rest in peace as his own true self, a kind and quiet man, who I am so glad I had the honor of knowing.
Rest in peace, Rob.
Sandy Salveter
All sorts of theories were mentioned as to why he died now.
Possibly bc his mom, Kay Lokoff, wasn't there to protect him.
Read her obit here. She died in 2017 at 81. Respiratory failure.
Again, Rob has three children. Daughter Amy led the program. I'd heard of everyone but never actually saw them until today.
The main point everyone emphasized was what a loving man he was.
Until, that is, his bipolar disorder struck. He became like another person.
His family clustered around him trying to help him.
- Did you talk to Rob today?
- Where is he?
As a young man in his 20s, the bipolar reared like a stallion.
He did have a group of friends and had a following, said one of his brothers.
Yrs and yrs ago I met his ex-wife Naomi at a bar mitzvah. There she was today with her partner, Mark.
Fred Lokoff, in a yarmeka and dark glasses, was also at his son's funeral.
But where was Rob's cell phone, asked Jacob.
The men in the tow truck found it.
Jacob played the tune that Rob must have been listening to at the moment of impact.
Elton John's DON'T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON ME. Click it.
Rob is walking the Yellow Brick Road now still confused, still trying to help himself.
Will he ever be found?
We love you Robert Howard Lokoff.
*
Comment by Sandy Salveter on Rob’s death:
I met Rob Lukoff around
2005, when I first started going to ND. He was on his meds and under
control at that time, but had just come out of a divorce after going off
his meds and ending up walking the streets of a California town. I
think his parents went to look for him and found him on the streets, and
brought him home to PA. It was too much for his wife, who initiated the
divorce.
I always admired him so much because
he always kept trying, even in the face of all the difficulties his
bipolar caused him. He talked about how much his Mother and Father
supported him. He graduated with a degree in music, and was quite a good
musician. He was part of a group that played at various social
functions, which he enjoyed.
Rob was a gentle
man, who when off his meds became a different, wild-eyed, out-of-control
person when his interior devils took over. This last time, the devils
took him away forever. I hope they have finally let go of him, so he can
rest in peace as his own true self, a kind and quiet man, who I am so
glad I had the honor of knowing.
Rest in peace, Rob.
Sandy Salveter
MEMORIUM TO ROBERTO
Before you go
Sit in my kitchen
once last time
Iced tea on this
scorching hot day?
A butter cookie
from the Italian market?
Let me look at you
I mean, really look at you
Your eyes, shining like
the morning star
The places you've been!
A certain sadness
unmistakable
upon your face
You, like all of us,
are whims of the world
blowing like a green leaf
on my maple, never
really gone,
never ever forgotten.
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