Those amazing Ecuadoreans!

My sister Donna married and subsequently (foolishly) divorced Roberto Hernando Cartagena, a New York schoolteacher born in Ecuador. Enter a whole different culture into our Jewish family.

When we were growing up Dad said, I'll disown any of you who don't marry Jews. We were surprised that dad, a true rebel and self-made man who hired anyone to work at Majestic Specialties women's apparel in Cleveland, OH, as long as they were hard workers and didn't steal, was so adamant about marrying within our religion.

I used to prefer anyone other than Jews. The Jews were too predictable. You knew all about them - their love of education, their warmth and kindness, their business sense, love of family. I wanted something different. I wanted to explore other cultures. Curiosity always won out for me. Interestingly, when my kids came into the world, they followed my tradition of dating people from many other ethnic groups.

The Ecuadoreans arrived en masse at a surprise shower given in New Jersey by my niece Nikki and husband Steve in honor of the forthcoming marriage of Donna and Roberto's daughter, Melissa.

As my gift to them, I spent three days composing a one-page prose-poem. When finally I was about to finish, I printed it up and showed it to boyfriend Scott, who, ironically is Jewish, but I just look the other way.

Scott, reading my poem silently in the kitchen, blurts out: Dyou really wanna say "killed ruthlessly?"

RZ: Well, yeah, that's the heritage of her people.

Scott: Yes, but dyou wanna say that in your poem? If she was German would you say, proud ancestor of the Nazis?

RZ: Of course not. But everyone's got the same stuff in their history. I like those words, killed ruthlessly.

Actually, tho, perhaps Scott was right. It caused doubt in my mind. When Sarah and Ethan came to pick me up and drive me to the party, I had them read the poem.

Sarah: It's beautiful, Mom.

Whew!

The party was held in one of those huge American backyards complete with swimming pool and illegal diving board, the kind Springsteen does NOT sing about in his Jersey songs. Steve's barbecue grill was twice as big as my kitchen stove. Fat marinated chicken breasts sent sizzling smells across the dozens of round tables with favors on them.

I remembered when these fun-loving people held a bonfire in the autumn.

A live band played exclusively Beatles music, after all, Stevie's wife is half-Ecuadorean and music fills their life. Never have you met such loving people. The Ecuadoreans are family-minded, business-minded, hard-workers. My dad, of course, fell in love with them and forgot his oath to disinherit.

One Ecuadorean family drove down in several cars from their homes in Connecticut. Each one of these cousins took turns keeping my 86-year-old mother company, holding her hand, telling her how beautiful she looked, bringing her fruit salad. What kind of people are these?

They took me by the hand and dragged me to the dance floor, or the dance grass and looped their arms in mine and danced with me. When we left, they walked us to the car, kissed and hugged us, and bid us adios. You felt guilty leaving!

At the party I sat by Ethan awhile and we marveled at how good the faux Beatles band was. It's been said before that rock music is the modern equivalent of classical, that its rock composers are every bit the musical genius as the Old Masters.

I agree. I mentioned I love Genesis. Ethan said his band recorded in Peter Gabriel's London studio with Gabriel himself in attendance.

I know, I said. But I have no idea who Peter Gabriel is. I'm mostly hooked on Phil Collins. After the party I'm gonna look him up on YouTube.

That's the first thing I did when I got home. I studied YouTube and then slipped on my shoes and walked over Scott's.

"Look what I found on YouTube," I said setting up the laptop.

Then I played him this amazing video of the young Peter Gabriel doing Musical Box. Listen to his voice, like molten gold. BUT... we can't agree on who the drummer is. Is it Collins. Scott says it's an earlier drummer. I say Collins. What do YOU think?