Makeover for the Living Room

Last nite on DocumentaryHeaven.com, I watched an interview with C G Jung, who happens to be the first Jungian analyst. Made me think about a lot of things including my own analyst, Beth Lindsey, who, after a stint in prison for non-payment of alimony, moved to England where she became a Buddhist nun.

Oh, you can get so caught up in the lives of other people you forget what you wanted to blog about. One of Jung's patients said to him, If there was a God, he would look like you.

Jung was not formidable. Not threatening. Just like God, who is sitting with me right here in my room, invisible, of course, I'm a Jewish nonbeliever, and he's going to question me. No, he's not gonna ask me which Medicare plan I've finally settled on - I have 3 months to decide when I turn 65 later this month - but, well, let's let him get on w/the interview.

Zeus: Why are you rearranging your living room, little Ruthie?

Me: Well, it seems that the new carpet, fresh and clean as it is, with, you know, that new carpet smell, deserves a fresh new decor.

Zeus: I noticed you removed your computer and desk.

Me: Yes, Lord, my dining room had become my office. Full of papers. Geez, under my pretty secretariat, I had heaps of copies of letters to the editor I had written, I had about 7 clipboards stacked against the wall, I had my canvas bags I take to the grocery store, you get the picture.

Zeus: Sounds like you decided to become more traditional now that you've reached the grand old age of 65.

Me: Yessir.
Zeus: Harrumph (sucking on his pipe). That end table looks a bit odd to me. Reverting back to your old ways, my dear?

Me: Well, you see, there were water stains on it, so I covered it over with this African batik. Don't you like it?

Zeus: Didn't say I didn't. Did you remember to water your dracaene?

Me: Oops. I'll do it tomro. Dyou mind if I talk about the first photo? Here, I'll print it again. This is actually a bench I had up in my bedroom, a very pretty bench that was hidden from the world.

Zeus: What's the phrase from the Bible? Buried under a bushel?

Me: Yes, I had heaps of clothes on the bench. Even shorts from the summertime. Oh, how we miss the summer. So I put all my clothes away and my friend Noam carried the bench downstairs for me. Then I set to painting it.

Z: Good god, woman, can't you leave well enuf alone?

Me: You don't understand, milord. The cushion was a f***g mess. Water stains all over it. All's I did was make lil designs over the stains. Can't see em now. Well, hardly.

Z: Resembles a menorah, don't it?

Me: True, tho Jung would say it wasn't an accident, that it arose from my deep unconscious. May I free-associate and tell you a Chanukah story?

Z: What if I said no?

Me: When my kids were little, Sarah asked me if she could stay home from school one day. We discussed it and I said, Sure, Sweetie Pie.

Z: Is that permissible?

Me: It is if you're the Demings. So when I wrote the note, I said, "Please excuse Sarah Deming. We were home celebrating Chanukah, the Feast of Lights.

Polite applause from Z.