Thursday, December 10, 2009

I'm invited to a bris!

Just before it was time to drive Scott to the train Cynthia called to say her daughter gave birth to a son and I was invited to the bris in his hometown of Princeton. I'll drive down with the newborn's uncle. Cynthia's husband was one of my best friends but never consulted me about his plans to do away with himself. I didn't have time to say g'bye before he walked in front of a truck.

G'bye Bobby g'bye! He couldn't bear the new diagnosis of Parkinson's he was given. Look, I'm all for euthanasia but there were barely any symptoms.

Quite chilly tonite, eh? "37 icy" said my car as I slid in.

You know, Scott, I said, putting my red gloved hands on the wheel, America as we know it is finished. I watched a video last nite on the New Yorker website. The CEO of a huge drug company, Novartis, said he was building a $1 BILLION plant in - guess where?

China, said Scott.

Right. And we let it happen, I said.

I blame the media and the politicians, said Scott. They said nothing about it while it was happening. Ross Perot made a sucking noise about it. Sucking the lifesblood out of us.

We sat in the car while waiting for the train. A great song came on the radio.

Jeez, I'd like to dance to this, I said.

Too cold, said Scott.

I turned up the volume loud, climbed outa the car and danced in the darkness. Scott laffed.

I like to be surprising and daring. It makes me happy.

Soon the lights of the train began reflecting on the train wires and tracks, he undid his seatbelt, kissed me goodbye and headed out, backpack on his back. I drove off reminding myself Call TCM, Call TCM, Call TCM.

Billy answered the phone right away. I'd waited 20 minutes earlier today w/o success. I was ordering Scott's b'day and Xmas presents.

Ya know why I'm calling and not ordering online, Billy? I said. Because I'm too lazy to type in my credit card number.

That's fine, said Billy, who turned out to be a terrible speller. When I told him Scott's last name, I said it's spelled like The General. He mangled it horribly but he was a sweet man.

Would you mind if I sing my credit card number? I was amazed I thought of such a great idea.

I did a magnificent creative job and when next we figger out where to have our Coffeeshop Gig I promise to share my phenomenal technique. I have a famed operatic voice (famous within my family and friends)but want to give it to a wider audience.

I spose I was inspired to perform my credit card number cuz I was talking to Turner Classic Films, all of whom are the biggest showoffs and exhibitionsists in the world - movie stars. I wanted to be one when I was 6 years old when I discovered who they were.

Ruth Gabor.

Okay, so now you got me thinking. What exactly does America excel in? off the top of my head I'd say:

Journalism, literature, colleges and universities, medicine, Nobel prizewinners, advertisements, independent movies, independent support groups, gardening, local parks and national parks, and of course FREEDOM. No one can touch us where freedom is concerned. Right Angela Davis?

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