Hello, Albert,we liked your Barnes Museum but we have a few suggestions and didn't see a suggestion box

JFK Parkway view of Ze Barnes. Founder Alfred C Barnes is probly rolling over in his grave about the May, 2012, move of his collections from Merion, PA, to the cultural district of Philadelphia on JFK Parkway.

We circled the block sevl times looking for a place to park.

"There's only handicapped spots," Scott said from behind the wheel.

"I'm handicapped!" I shouted, pulling out my handicap placard. "Grab that parking space."

 Quarters, please.

Reflecting pool and gardens outside the museum. Barnes' wife Laura did the garden at their Lower Merion estate.

Entrance to Ze Barnes. (OMG, I almost spilled my sunflower seeds on my new red couch.) I'm in a hurry to finish cuz Columbo comes on at 8 pm.

How to describe my feelings about the Barnes. Here goes. They don't like signs. Scott and I had no way of knowing how to get in the building, so we figured, well, we'll just circle the entire thing and see if you can get in.

Historically, Barnes had to be sued before he let people into his original collections. 

So I was not in an optimistic mood as we entered the huge glass doors.  

Then, Mr. Barnes, we waited in line, we were behind one couple, for TEN FRIGGING MINUTES. There was only ONE working man behind the counter.

All right, let's proceed to the galleries. We're advised to start on the top floor and work our way down. I believe there are three floors. We had our comfortable sneakers on and Scott had checked his backpack which had my carefully selected healthy diabetes lo-blood sugar food in it.

 Oh, now I've gotta embarrass myself. Nothing new. I paid five bucks to rent an iPod and listen to a tour. I consider this very important.

Well, don't you know, I couldn't figure out to work the darn thing, even tho I was given a brief tutorial.

As we climbed the NARROW stairs, we realized we were not alone. THE PLACE WAS MOBBED!

I gasped when I saw the above painting by Matisse. We were eye-to-eye but it was far across the room, kinda like when you stand on a perch to see the Grand Canyon. 

This was the beginning of my good experience at the Barnes. I wanted to print a better shot of this but couldn't find it online so I photographed the one I have in my bedroom. Look at those incredible round shapes enclosed in three domes.     

I think they're cut-outs, done when Matisse got ill and couldn't paint no more.

Here's the thing about the Barnes. It's room after room after room. With incredibly HIGH CEILINGS. Some rooms were crammed with people. Other rooms you had the whole place to yourself.

Barton Security Guards were thick as thieves.

The b'ful parquet floors had inlaid wood. You did not know if the dark line of wood nearest to the artwork was meant to keep you from stepping too close to the paintings.

So what did Ruthie do? A little test. Sure enough, the guard came over and told me to stand back. I was merely trying to read the name of the artist.

In another room two couples my age were keening over the same thing.

Here are some artworks from the well-designed Barnes Museum website:

Original sofa from Albert and Laura's living room. The USA map shows the US distribution of the medicines Barnes and partners developed to make him a rich man by age 30. Distributed worldwide was Argyrol, an anti-gonorrhea drug, which was also used on newborns with a rare condition that blinded them. The Argyrol make them see again!

Painting of Alfred C Barnes. This was not in the museum but a huge adjoining room, sorta like at the Michener where a small room holds Michener's desk, typewriter and ms.

The famous Harlequin and Acrobat by Picasso. Can you imagine that Barnes owns it and I SAW IT TODAY!!!

Sticking with Picasso, here's a very modern looking portait where the guy looks like he's dying of liver disease.

 This is a Matisse. I wanted to put it in here b/c this is the feeling I got while in the Barnes Museum. I felt dwarfed by the height of the rooms.

Look at the simple round strokes Matisse uses here. Looks easy, don't it? (I may go back and correct my grammar later but I doubt it.)

The museum has a great collection of Cezanne. I didn't recognize his Boy in a Red Vest. Look at his ears, his eyes averting their gaze and the rueful (?) expression on his face.

Classic Cezanne. Fruit arranged on a wooden table with a dish towel I bought at the Giant Supermarket.

One of his landscapes. Scott liked the landscapes best, and also the van Goghs.

Leda and the Swan by Renoir.

Renoir also made ceramics.

Madame Cezanne. How does her body language reflect her character? A bit closed up, n'est-ce pas?

 How dyou like this doorknocker? Or the one below....

I couldn't decide which one to steal when I was left alone in a room w/o the security guard. 

Something captivating about this little red rooster, whose tail looks like a graceful hand.

Barnes collected lots of African sculptures, many of fairly recent creation. He died at age 79 in an automobile accident.

Amadeo Modigliani, Italian, 1884–1920, Head,1911–1912 Limestone

Modigliani of the Long Necks was from a distinguished Jewish Italian family with French roots. 

Amadeo died of tubercular meningitis at age 35 in Paris where he lived in abject poverty and addicted to alcohol.    

What composition!

These are not unhappy paintings. Long, languid bodies, perhaps a little tired out from the extreme heat.

van Gogh's famous postman. Gee, Kenny my postman does not have that proud look the way this guy does. Nor does he have a magnificent curlique beard.

Is this Mme Matisse out in her garden? Shhh! She can't see us, so let's not disturb her.

Ah, more patterns from Claude Matisse.

Not to pull a fast one on ya, dear reader, but here is one of Cezanne's Bather paintings. He did quite a few.

Paul Gauguin. His story was fictionalized by Maugham in Moon and Sixpence. Gauguin was a stockbroker in Paris who gave up everything to move to Polynesia and paint.

 Another Cezanne. Alas, poor Yorick!

Hans Baldung Grien (Hans Baldung)
German, 1484/85–1545
Madonna and Child
1539

Compare this Mary with the earlier paintings you'll see below. She looks quite confident, don't she?

See! Barnes even has some artworks from the Middle Ages.

I was shocked to find this Titian. Can't remember what he's holding in his hand. Any guesses? Looks like my contact lens case.

Good ole El Greco is represented. Looks like the Virgin Mary is appearing to a priest.

Goldleaf painting of Madonna and Child but two groupies in background. I love the stance of baby Jesus clinging onto mama.

This is a comforting scene to many people. Every time I draw blood to check my sugar level, I do not think of the crucifixion.

Proby by Wm Glackens, a personal friend of Barnes. Look at Aunt Jemima's beautiful blue dress and apron.

When I left the museum I felt like I was leaving a prison! The high walls and the guards. Sometimes you could hear them talking to each other on walkie-talkies about some perceived trouble in one of the rooms.

 I was absy starving when Scott and I got to nearby Sabrina's Cafe, recommended by Stephen Weinstein. Our salads were enormous, but we gobbled down every bite.

Museuming makes you hungry! That's my Asian salad, Scott got a Greek salad. My iced decaf was very tasty. I can just taste it now. I got an extra glass of ice cuz everything melted upon impact, 97 degrees today.

First cucumber from our garden.

Hey! Who dat? Oh, it's Bubby. At Sabrina's, nearly every seat was taken. You could not hear yourself talk, so we didn't until we started walking to the car.

Why, I wonder, do I spend all this time blogging about the Barnes Museum? Rob, are you actually reading this? Send me a hallooo and raise my self-esteem!

I totally missed Columbo. But you're right. I enjoy bloggin. I love it. It's productive distraction from working on my Kidney Memoir.