Pain abating, I buy a new laptop at Staples

Sad to say I just read one of the best articles ever on Barack Obama, written by the son of the famed Keynesian economist John Kenneth Galbraith. Read what fils has to say. Read it and weep.

You sure you wanna go? asked Scott.

I was sitting on the couch panting in pain.

Gimme my goddamn cane, I said.

Off we went to Staples with me on my belly in the back seat.

Scott opened the car door and I crawled out. Right in front of me entering the doors was a man on permanent crutches.

I stopped off at a display of tiny computers. I had examined them all online in the dark of the nite. Some people do porn online, some people gamble, some do speed dating unbeknowst to their partners, but I tingle my neurotransmitters by viewing laptops and dreaming they're mine.

What kind of a goddamn person am I anyway? A person who loves things more than people?

Earlier I'd called Staples and spoken to Fallon. Asked her some questions. Ah, here she was now...beautiful Fallon, named after a character in Dallas.

She sets me straight rightaway. These are 'notebooks,' she says, ascertaining that I wanna do real work on them. Notebooks, she says, are like cellphones. WTF! EEK! HELP! Smelling salts please! More lithium. Knock me out.

Fallon escorts Scott and me around the corner where a long row of computers are set up for test drives. My favorite is an expensive white Sony, beautiful design. "We just started carrying the Sony," she says. "I personally haven't sold any."

We move to the Acer computer. "People are afraid of them," she says, "b/c they've never heard of them. I like them. They're a good value and are fast and have good memories."

The price is better than the HP and the Toshiba.

I ask if I can use the phone to call my son.

"Dial 9," she says.

He has no idea who's calling him at work.

"Dan," I say. "This is mom. I'm at Staples buying a new computer."

"Mom, I gotta go," he says.

"Okay," I say and hang up. I'll call him later to check and make sure I'm doing the right thing. Indeed he gives me the go-ahead and says maybe he and his family will stop in on Sunday. BOY is he ever busy!



Fallon asks if I want a chair.

I'll stand, I say. My leg has become a separate creature. A wild out of control animal that follows me wherever I go.

Go away, I wanna shout. Get the hell out of here.

It doesn't work like that.

I'll tell you what I'd like to do. I'd like to lower myself into a foaming hot tub and have the jets massage that wild animal and give him some peace.

Instead, I'll drink some fabulous hot chocolate. Did I tell you I'm drinking again? Hold on, lemme go downstairs and boil some water. It'll just take a sec.

Yum! Hits the spot. I know, I know. You're running into the kitchen to fix your own hot chocolate. OR, stop on by. I'll be happy to limp on downstairs, I'm wearing my fave tie-die pants I bought for $5 the last time we were at Ocean City. Am also wearing one of my wonderful warm woolen sweaters I bought at Impact Thrift in Hatboro, the old Santerian's Department Store that my kids HATED. Wonder if there's a Wiki article on that. Remind me to check later.

I got this horrible email earlier today I wanna share with you as the leader of your bipolar/depression support group. It was so awful I BCC'd it to Ada and Margie.

Hello Ms.Deming,
Goodmorning, my name is XXX and I am a PsyD student at Immaculata University. I am also a psychotherapist at Central Montgomery Mental Health and Mental Retardation Center in Norristown. I am presently working on my dissertation and the study is on suicide. I am seeking participants for my interview and soliciting your help.

I was given your name by Tony Salvatore. I am requesting that I place a flyer in your building to recruit individuals. Please let me know if this is a possibility. I can be reached at XXXXX I will be able to give you more information and answer any other questions you might have. Thank you most kindly. Have a good day XXXX

My reply:
XXXX, this is a very serious and sensitive subject.
Placing an anonymous brochure about suicide at our support group is, to me,
an amazingly insensitive thing to do.
Please find someone else to help you

The real reason I bought a new laptop is simple.

We're got a Compass magazine coming out. A real good issue. My old Dell laptop, which I'm on right now, is impossibly slow. In three years it's seemed to have aged 50 years.

Scott will get this computer and I'll get the Acer. Click here and you'll see the new one. See the low low price? It's like buying a new car. All the important parts are optional. From the low low price I wound up paying something like $800. Scott and I brought a 10 percent coupon in.

I knew w/o even looking at it the coupon would be no good. Sure enuf, when Fallon studied it she read the important words. "excluding computer purchases."

Does anybody ever win?

I'm talking to you!

Does anybody ever come out ahead?

Answer me, if you know the answer.

As for me, I'm finishing my hot chocolate, then taking a quick dip in the hot tub and afterward, going to Scott's for some movie-watching in bed. Today we watched Destry Rides Again with Jimmy Stewart and Marlene Dietrich, an excellent shoot-em-up. Her English was quite good.

Iris, so glad you liked Wade in the Water Dry. We've both gotta continue to write more poems.