I conducted the meeting from the yoga mat

I put on the front lite and Ada picked me up to drive me to our support group meeting.

She stuffed everything in the trunk while I clumb in the back seat with my aching body. Scott had taken me to vote that morning. My precinct lady Elaine said, You don't seem to have your usual joie de vive Ruth.

Back pain, I mumbled.

I'm down to 3 prednisones a day - 6 6 5 5 4 4 3 3

Told my group that years ago I got super-angry on the Pred but now have no side effex possibly meaning my brain has healed from the bipolar. When I get a kidney transplant I'll need the Pred to reduce swelling. Of what? If worse came to worse they'd have to give me a bipolar drug if I got manic.

Please forgive me readers but YUCK YUCK YUCK!Enuf of those meds for one lifetime.

We had a fnatastic group tonite. I lay on my pallette and we went round the circle. Huge group. Lotsa newscomers. These people come from afr. Don't tell them I don't go more than 10 minutes away from home.

No wonder I never have any fun!

At groups' end I shared. I told them it's really hard staying home and thinking about my whole life. Nearly 65 years gone by, all used up. I'll never have little kids again. Ill never see Sarah and Dan as small children. We'll never tramp thru the woods again at Village Green Apartments or go to Masons Mill Park to watch Dan twirling fast on the merry-go-round.

Ben said Get over it!

Validate me, Ben, I yelled!

Seiji Ozawa conductor of one of the big philharmonics had terible sciatica and was operated on. Finally made a comeback. When I read that a couple weeks ago I was fine.

After the meeting I asked Ada to drive me to the Giant and buy me some hot chocolate. Made it after I got home. My leg was killing! Made popcorn too. Brought it all up in bed where I stuffed it in my mouth while reading the election returns.

I have no idea who the new R governor of our state is? Never heard of him. Rendell was good. Big spender but good. Kept jobs here apparently.

Very important editorial in ysterday's Times about the inexorable rise of Big Business - Rich getting richer - poor getting poorer. Top emailed article. American salaries peaked in 1973! Conspiracy of the rich and backed by both parties. Loss of the middle class.

So I lay awake basically all nite long listening to WRTI, Temple University Radio, the jazz station after dark. Fantastic music! Around 4 a.m. they played Never Stop by the Bad Plus.

Wanted my daughter and Ethan to throw me a 65th b'day party but they'll be in Wisconsin visiting Ethan's developmentally disabled brother Spencer.

My friend Nancy Pollack said she'd give me a party.

No booze! She wants to bring booze. The one thing I do not want is my two alcoholilc sisters getting drunk at my party. They even bring their own booze.

I've gotta establish some goals in the two years before my transplant. Like, publish a poetry volume. Or, clean up middle bedroom and get all the crap out of there. Maybe even make some more nice chalk pastels.

Wanna invite my painting teacher to my party. I thought he was gay but he said over the phone, Believe it or not, I'm straight.

Harry Reid of Nevada just made his victory speech. Jeez, he really squeaked in, our great and helpful Majority Leader. Bye-bye majority.

Okay back to bed. Can't wait to get up an have some hot chocolate! It comes in a big can, Giant brand. Warms my whole body. Better than coffee which I gave up years ago.

The little pleasures that make life so worth living. Just sitting and having a good conversation with someone is one of the finest things in life.