Our Crusade begins with a meeting in Norristown

Today was our big appointment in Norristown to meet with the heads of the Department of Behavioral Health. I drove over to the home of Dorrie and Norm Hawkes, where their 27-year-old son died on August 22. They were members of New Directions.

As I walked up the pebbled driveway of their comfortable-sized home I imagined first that I was Justin, once a tow-headed blue-eyed kid who swung a lunchpail when he'd go off to kindergarten, or, later, a carefree student at Hatboro-Horsham High School, smart and funny, waiting to put his backpack down on the kitchen table and grab a snack from the fridge, after saying hello to their Jack Russell terrier Hurricane, and mom, of course.

Then I imagined I was Dorrie, coming home today, knowing her only son is dead. How the house echoed with loneliness.

I rapped on the screen door and the dog yipped loudly from another room. The house was dark inside and for a moment I wondered, Do I have the right day? But soon I saw Dorrie nearing thru the screen door and I went in a few moments.

She grabbed her pocketbook and folders and we waited outside in the yard for Norm to come home

Dorrie Hawkes

so we could all drive down together. They have a huge property with a crick running thru it. "I'll bet your kids loved the creek," I said. Dorrie laughed and said they certainly did.

She sat in a lawn chair and showed me the yellow folders she prepared for the County folks plus Carol Caruso, who's the head of NAMI Glenside and NAMI Pennsylvania. She's in charge of the famous NAMI Walks for the Mind of America, now held locally at Montgomery County Community College. Put on your walking shoes!

Shoes

Even tho it was rush hour, we made good time, talking all the way there. Dorrie had prepared packets of info about Justin to give everyone. "I hope it's not over the top," she said to me.

"Oh, no!" I said. "This is perfect!"

She had a small family photo tucked inside of the four Hawkes plus Hurricane. I don't know how they got him to sit still.

We took the escalator to the second floor where the Office is. Eric's office was in the way back. He's got his own conference table w/rolling chairs around the table. A table w/a coffee pot is there. We made ourselves comfortable and Eric asked if any of us wanted to be the spokesperson.

I spoke up and gave a short presentation of what we wanted...OpenAccess System for patients in Crisis.

Funny, I hadn't practiced my speech, but the words came right out. Interestingly, the other nite at our meeting, a woman had gone on new meds and found it very hard to talk. She also couldn't use her right hand, tho it was improving. These are side effex of the meds we take!

I remember when I was on psych meds I had to learn to talk all over again each time I switched meds. They overpower your brain in an effort to target symptoms. Reminds me of Lamb's Essay on a Roasted Lamb. All they wanna do is eat a lamb roast but the only way they can figger out how to do it is to burn down the whole g'dam house!

Yes, taking meds are like that.

Next, Dorrie gave an impassioned statement about the chronology of getting her son an appointment at Creekwood. She had a little notebook where she'd written everything down, from the start on July 5, I believe, to the first doctor's appointment all the way into August, and, then, of course, it being cancelled and pushed up another week.

Eric and Nancy were genuinely shocked and saddened.

Like a Greek tragedy, when you hear the timetable, even tho you've been thru it a hundred times, you still wish right then and there that somehow the clock could be turned back and it would all have a happy ending.

And then you think, Yeah, but look at us, all sitting here, so glum, so resigned, it really must've happened and can't be redone.

Dorrie began to cry, saying, "I hadn't meant to do this," and Eric got a box of Kleenex from his desk.

In one swift motion, I spun the box around and grabbed a piece and pushed it toward her. I was as relaxed as if I were at home. That's b/c of the warm reception we got.

We came up with a plan of action which satisfied all of us. I mentioned at the table that when I went out to see the Hawkes I'd said to Dorrie, "You and Norm are doing quite well."

She said it's b/c our crusade has given her something to live for, something to look forward to.

Toward the end of the meeting, Eric and Nancy briefly left the room to grab a salted pretzel stick on sec'y Betty's desk. Mmmm, it looked so good, but I can't eat salt! Oh, for a bit of pretzel salt to melt on my tongue.

At meeting's end I was so happy I asked Eric if I could take his picture.

Eric Goldstein, head of the Montgomery County Department of Behavioral Health, Norristown, PA

He and Nancy will come out to our next New Directions meeting. I just put our October calendar on and said they will listen to your concerns about the treatment you receive from your mental health facility, particularly County-run agencies like Creekwood and Central Montgomery.

Hurray! It's a start.