Anatomy of an Epidemic - Testing testing testing

Every American should be aware of this book and esp. those of us who have been on psych meds.

It documents thru extensive research that patients get worse if they are on long-term antipsychotics or antidepressants. These powerful drugs create 'perturbations' in chemical channels causing innumerable problems that must be treated with more drugs.

After 24 years of running my group and telling people Stay on your meds, I've done a total reversal. If your depression has lifted thru the use of antidepressants, tell your doctor you want to get off. Two of my friends have found doctors that agree.

Also - and this is shocking - there is no evidence that schizophrenia or bipolar arise from a chemical imbalance in the brain. Quite simply, scientists have never figured out the mechanisms that account for these illnesses.

In the above photo I put my pillbox on the right. I take many meds for my kidney disease, which, unlike a mood disorder, can be documented by both behavior plus various lab tests.

This morning I've gotta be at the Levy Pavilion for an endoscopy to further efforts for my brain transplant. Make that kidney transplant.

On the odd occasion that I'll die on the table, I'll bid you a quick goodbye, make sure my library books are returned on time. I was trying to get all my work done yesterday in case I become a corpse, tho no one but me knew this. I never talk about my condition. What a friggin bore!

A woman I'll call Laura called me from out of state. She was once a member of New Directions and I rarely abandon people if they show a bleep of helping themselves improve. Laura and her hubby have a heckuva marriage. She has allowed the guy to control her every activity and tells me if she doesn't leave she'll be dead. You know the ropes.

Abused women are the hardest to work with.

Two years ago she almost made her escape to "California" to be with her family but she chickened out.

I was furious and told her not to call me anymore.

Now she's back. I did extensive Internet and phone research to find her a shelter b/c her family will be supportive but can't further deal with her. They told me yesterday they don't believe she'll be on the plane.

Well, I called her up and she began making excuses. "I can't go if they think that," she said.

Laura, I said, I want you to listen to me and not say anything. I told her to write down all the information about the shelter, not to contact me until she was at the airport (she has money - lots of it) and I wished her good luck.

Okay? I said.

Okay, she answered, and then I hung up.

Whew! Talking to her is like getting the Palestinians and the Israelis at the Peace Table which they are right now. You wait till all systems are go - which is now for Israel and for Laura. If she blows it, it's her own fault.

You're probly wondering what's that great music I've got on. Koln Concert by Keith Jarrett. When I need to concentrate I put it on. I am so goddam thirsty now but I'm not allowed to drink before my procedure.

I called my mom to tell her about it and she said, Gee, maybe I should get one. That woman loves procedures, just like her mother before her. It's the only way they can get attention.

Terry and Tony were over piping cellulose insulation into my attic. I really wanted to photograf Terry and his tattooed back, but I didn't have the nerve. Cheesecake photographer.

When he got down from doing the attic work, clothed in a white suit like a spaceman, he said it was 146 degrees up there.

Like Iraq, I said, I guess cuz America has just gotten out of that country. Boom! Boom! Bombs away! Oh my god what a mess.

The insulation, he said, should really help with temperature control in this house that gets extremely hot in the summer and equally cold in the winter.


This orchid bloomed two days ago. I have it on the floor in the middle of my living room so I can pay obeisance to it. Look at how beautiful it is. Its petals are surprisingly hard, almost like plastic. I felt them with my lips as I thought that would be gentler than my fingers.

Wiki tells me orchids are the second largest of the flowering plants, found all over the world including cold zones, but found mostly in tropics.

I found mine on the floor at Produce Junction, debated whether to spend $9 for it since most of the flowers there don't live long, but sprang like a lizard anyway.