Friday, April 17, 2009

Why am I wearing my Starbucks apron?

It's got two deep pockets. When I talk on the phone I use hand-free headsets and stick the phone in my apron pocket so I can move about. Day and night no matter what the weather I talk on the phone outside and wave to my neighbors while doing so. By now, they must know more than I do about bipolar disorder.

We had a great meeting last nite. I'm sitting here w/my clipboard and follow-ups to take c/o. One woman we'll call Maxine is in her mid-40s and has been suffering from moodswings since she was a teenager. She has never gotten a proper diagnosis. When I worked as a therapist, I was charged with the responsibility of making tentative diagnoses until the psychiatrist - Hi Norm! - could see the patients.

Maxine most likely has bipolar disorder. But you know what? She'll never believe me cuz I'm not a psychiatrist. Statistics do show it takes an average of TEN YEARS or more to get a correct diagnosis. Why? Because doctors do not take a thorough history and also b/c a family member is not present to corroborate a patient history.

Here are some comments I made at last nite's meeting. All names are fake:

Clearly, Bruce was manic. He's also a cocaine addict. At meeting's end I said, "Bruce, I don't wanna hurt your feelings, but you need to grow up. You believe in the Pleasure Principle. You always want to feel good. You refuse to live in the real world."

"Yeah," he said, "my mother told me that."

He's in his 20s. He's not ready to grow up. He'll go through the motions, attend our meetings, allow himself to get high w/either mania or cocaine and continue this ridiculous lifestyle until he either gets sick of it or dies of a heart attack.

No doubt he'll agree with me. Is real life so joyless that a person needs to get high?

He'd think I was nuts if he knew all the simple things that give me pleasure.

Actually, I was just eating my leftover shrimp w/cocktail sauce just now, roaming around the living room moaning w/joy over how good it tastes, and thinking, "Hmmm, maybe Bruce, with his need for extreme ways to make him feel emotion, particularly happiness, should engage in some extreme sports - seriously! We have a guy in our group who goes hang-gliding and also parachutes out of airplanes.

As for me, I get off on cooking something new: broccoli-rabe w/linguine. The NY Times' Mark Bittman did a video of it so I made the recipe yesterday & bought the shrimp for protein. I called Scott who gets home from work at 8 pm and left him a message that I'd be at our New Directions' meeting, he should come over and help himself to the pasta and shrimp.

When I crawled into bed w/him later that nite after the meeting - he was snoring away - his sleep disorder is totally fixed since he works 'second shift now' - I asked him if he liked the dinner. Remember, this is the first time I'd ever made broccoli-rabe and he said it was delicious.

Since I can't eat salty cheeses any more (they raise my blood pressure), I substituted the parm cheese w/toasted almonds on top:

LINGUINE WITH BROCCOLI-RABE

Prep time is about half an hour.

Into huge pot of boiling water put vitamin-mineral-laden broccoli-rabe

Slice 4 or 5 garlic cloves and cook SLOWLY in olive oil. Be careful not to burn them. When cooked right, they exude a lovely aroma and flavor.

Toast a couple handfuls of almonds in the toaster-oven.

Combine all ingredients and sprinkle the almonds on top.

Lemme know what time you're coming over for dinner, Marce!!!