Robert Howard Lokoff Funeral Today, June 26, 2019

Hard to believe that Rob Lokoff - August 31, 1958 - June 22, 2019 - has passed away.

He was 60 years old.

Scott and I drove to the Joseph Levine Funeral Home where every spot in the parking lot was taken.

The sanctuary, above, was filled and people were in a receiving line to offer their condolences.

If you wish, remember Rob Lokoff with a gift from New Directions Support Group. Make a PayPal donation from our website, or send to New Directions, Box 181, Hatboro PA 19040.

I had been a good friend of Rob's for many years, never having met most of his large family. Rob had been married - and divorced - to Naomi and they had three children. They met in a psych hospital. Naomi and her husband were there.

Rob would always help me out. He was a great morale-booster. He would also tell me how he would drive his elderly relatives to appointments. Aunt Thelma, among them.

He loved helping people.

Just checked the Jewish Exponent. His mother's death is on there, but not Rob's.

Altho Rob, at the time of his death, was living in his condo in Conshohocken, I knew him when he lived in an apartment in Elkins Park. His sons, Jacob and Sam, would come over and he'd make them lunch. His eldest, Amy, was away at college. He always had a piano, which he loved to play. His sons and he would also play tennis outside on the courts.

I'd visit there upon occasion and use the pool. He also hosted some truly great accompanists in his apartment. Wouldn't it be great, he'd say, if he could support himself as a musician?

Once, New Directions held a performance at the Daily Grind Coffee Shop in Hatboro, PA, and there was Roberto, as I used to call him, with his best friend Phil Martino, playing the drums.

Family members ascended the podium and spoke. Every single one of them was in shock!

Long Beach Island was their meeting place on the Jersey shore.

He never felt comfortable meeting there, as there were so many prominent people, including his dad, who had founded Bryn Mawr Stereo. His dad was at the funeral.

Hugging and kissing were of immense comfort to everyone there.

I wanted to spend more time looking at the photo time-line - below - but the funeral woman pulled it away. Where, I asked, will Rob be buried?

The family will decide that, she said. Shiva will be at brother Jamie & Jodi Lokoff's house in Philly.

Rob was driving at top speeds in Long Beach Island, and, writes Ada, the article said he hit a trash truck and another truck at a red light going 100 mph.

The EMTs tried to save him but to no avail. They said there was an aura about the dying individual. Something really special.

The funeral was very emotional. Dr. Pam London sat next to me and was dabbing her eyes. (She now works at Eagleville Hospital.)

All sorts of theories were mentioned as to why he died now.

Possibly because his mom, Kay Lokoff, wasn't there to protect him.

We love you Robert Howard Lokoff.

*
Comment by Sandy Salveter on Rob’s death:

I met Rob Lukoff around 2005, when I first started going to ND. He was on his meds and under control at that time, but had just come out of a divorce after going off his meds and ending up walking the streets of a California town. I think his parents went to look for him and found him on the streets, and brought him home to PA. It was too much for his wife, who initiated the divorce.

I always admired him so much because he always kept trying, even in the face of all the difficulties his bipolar caused him. He talked about how much his Mother and Father supported him. He graduated with a degree in music, and was quite a good musician. He was part of a group that played at various social functions, which he enjoyed.

Rob was a gentle man, who when off his meds became a different, wild-eyed, out-of-control person when his interior devils took over. This last time, the devils took him away forever. I hope they have finally let go of him, so he can rest in peace as his own true self, a kind and quiet man, who I am so glad I had the honor of knowing.

Rest in peace, Rob.

Sandy Salveter

The EMTs tried to save him but to no avail.

All sorts of theories were mentioned as to why he died now.

Possibly bc his mom, Kay Lokoff, wasn't there to protect him.



Read her obit here. She died in 2017 at 81. Respiratory failure.

Again, Rob has three children. Daughter Amy led the program. I'd heard of everyone but never actually saw them until today.

The main point everyone emphasized was what a loving man he was.

Until, that is, his bipolar disorder struck. He became like another person.

His family clustered around him trying to help him.

- Did you talk to Rob today?
- Where is he?

As a young man in his 20s, the bipolar reared like a stallion.

He did have a group of friends and had a following, said one of his brothers.

Yrs and yrs ago I met his ex-wife Naomi at a bar mitzvah. There she was today with her partner, Mark.

Fred Lokoff, in a yarmeka and dark glasses, was also at his son's funeral.

But where was Rob's cell phone, asked Jacob.

The men in the tow truck found it.

Jacob played the tune that Rob must have been listening to at the moment of impact.

Elton John's DON'T LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON ME. Click it.

Rob is walking the Yellow Brick Road now still confused, still trying to help himself.

Will he ever be found?



We love you Robert Howard Lokoff.

*
Comment by Sandy Salveter on Rob’s death:

I met Rob Lukoff around 2005, when I first started going to ND. He was on his meds and under control at that time, but had just come out of a divorce after going off his meds and ending up walking the streets of a California town. I think his parents went to look for him and found him on the streets, and brought him home to PA. It was too much for his wife, who initiated the divorce.

I always admired him so much because he always kept trying, even in the face of all the difficulties his bipolar caused him. He talked about how much his Mother and Father supported him. He graduated with a degree in music, and was quite a good musician. He was part of a group that played at various social functions, which he enjoyed.

Rob was a gentle man, who when off his meds became a different, wild-eyed, out-of-control person when his interior devils took over. This last time, the devils took him away forever. I hope they have finally let go of him, so he can rest in peace as his own true self, a kind and quiet man, who I am so glad I had the honor of knowing.

Rest in peace, Rob.

Sandy Salveter

MEMORIUM TO ROBERTO

Before you go
Sit in my kitchen
once last time

Iced tea on this
scorching hot day?

A butter cookie
from the Italian market?

Let me look at you
I mean, really look at you
Your eyes, shining like
the morning star

The places you've been!
A certain sadness
unmistakable
upon your face

You, like all of us,
are whims of the world
blowing like a green leaf
on my maple, never
really gone,
never ever forgotten.   

New backpacks - Coffee may help your memory - Rob Lokoff has departed from this world

 For a dozen or more years I wore the backpack of the Grand Canyon of PA. I loved wearing it but it was not stylish. So a week ago I replaced it with a smaller one that Scott bought me from Macy's for a clearance price of $20.

Mom said on Sunday it was too expensive. She was born in 1922.

 For Valentine's Day Scott bought me the above plant at Kremp's. It was losing leaves so I moved it to this table where it is doing well.

In the background on the wiudow sill is Howling Wolf a gift from Margie Lawlor.

This morning before I left for my volunteer job at Second Home for the elderly, I called them and asked if I could bring blue hydrangeas  from my garden - and a backpack - yes to both.

They'll roll the dice for the backpack and I told em I'd bring anudder beauty next week.

Why not give them away to people you know?

Hold on, I've gotta drink a sip of horrible coffee while I write about Roberto, as I used to call him when we were friends.

My friend died in a car accident.

Rob! How could you. I loved you so.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Rob Lokoff comes for lunch! - Scott's train set - Hello Phil Martino, miss you!

Rob is very easy to cook for. "I eat everything," he told me over the phone. We began with a salad that had spinach, kale, mushrooms, scallions, cukes, read more

 punkin seeds, sunflower seeds, and a dressing made with fresh lemon, fresh mint leaves from my garden, olive oil, and a tiny amount of balsamic vinegar so it wouldn't make me coff.

Rob is one of my favorite people in the world. His daughter Amy just graduated from American University in DC with a degree in art. She's looking for a job. This is a very talented family so I'm sure she'll find something she likes.

Main course was a delicious egg omelette with assorted veggies, left over from last nite's homemade pizza, and herbs from the well-watered garden.

It's raining right now at the US Open in Merion, PA. Today is "Practice Day."

Remember, this is 2013.

Ground crews are clearing off water from the grass... heavy rains. Rob said Merion last hosted the Open in 1981.

Rob's son Jacob is working in one of the refreshment booths.

Everyone is hoping to see Tiger Woods. Even if you know nothing about golf, everyone knows Tiger.

He has an amazing ability to camouflage himself from public view.

We took Rob on a tour of our garden. He remembered the Rain Barrel from my blog. Here's the peach tree we bot at Home Depot. The peaches are two inches high and should be ready in August, we think.

Rob's best friend, Phil Martino, who lives in Cinnaminson, NJ, loves three things the most: drumming, trains, and old cars.

We waltzed over to Scott's to show Rob Scott's great train set in the basement.

Rob is helping Phil install a train set in one of the bedrooms, where Phil takes c/o of his 87-yo mom Terri.

You should have heard Rob speak with such knowledge about trains. Click to enlarge. He and Scott had a great conversation. Both of them learned from doing.

Rob and Phil will visit a great train store at Street Road and Bustleton. The best store used to be downtown but they moved out to Lancaster.

Scott said visiting a train store is like a kid in a candy shop.

Scott uses these as 'screen savers.' Very colorful and real looking.

At one point Scott turned off the lights and the gas lamps were lit up, as were some of the buildings, and the two trains were whooshing around the tracks and the whistle was blowing.

Rob took fotos from his Fiji camera to show Phil.

What a nice magnet you have on your car, Rob! He's worried someone will steal it, as they did Scott's. The thrill of stealing.

Rob commented that Scott had a lot of energy. That's b/c he's been on vacation for a week. Tonite the SEPTA train will take him back to work. The kid who loved trains got a job with SEPTA.

THE END

Saturday, June 2, 2012

D-Day: Comcast Newsmakers - Rob Lokoff to the rescue - Poem: Ah. Mania!

I always need to be chauffeured to my Comcast Newsmakers Interviews. Usually Ada and Rich take me but since this taping was on a Friday, Rich couldn't take off.

I call Rob my morale-booster. He's better than any therapist. I never gave him a house-warming gift for his new condo in Conshohocken, so hopefully the jar of Polaner's All Fruit Blueberry Jelly will make the grade.

It's not the gifts we give, it's the kind of friend we are.

I'd gotten an email from PA State Rep. Stewart Greenleaf (R) showing a taping he did on Comcast Newsmakers - he's such a dull speaker I couldn't pay attention to his message - but I thot to myself Good idea to have another taping - and this time I've gotta mention the life-threatening effects of Lithium.

Two of the technicians at the Comcast studio on South Columbus Blvd. Say hello to Dan and Justin.

These two women made me feel very comfortable.

Danielle Jeter, a graduate of the historically black Spelman College in  Atlanta, interned at Comcast and got a FT job there. I called Danielle to ask her about the temperature in the studio. From previous years I remembered it was freezing cold.

She told me the studio was cold so I wore a fancy sweater.

I like to prepare well in advance for these tapings, so I bot my outfit that morning at the Sweater Mill in friendly Hatboro. Ivy helped me.

At 9 that morning, I had my hair and nails done at Polished, also in The Hat.

To the right of Danielle, is Michelle, a recent engineering grad of North Carolina A & T. She's doing her internship at Comcast now.

I didn't mention I was born in the "Tar Heel State" at Camp Lejeune, NC. I still have the menu they fed mom at the hospital. No wonder we both love key lime pie.

Here I am with interviewer Jill Horner. Rob was sitting offstage and watching me live and on a monitor. I was watching myself from:

inside myself
and on three monitors, very briefly

I carefully checked the info that would be printed on the screen while I was speaking: Ruth Z Deming, MGPGP plus our website which they printed in all CAPS.

Afterward Rob and I celebrated. Instead of eating at the Beverly Hills Hotel, we went to the Hatboro equivalent: McDonald's.

Rob was skittish at first but I assured him they'd have something delicious. Here he is with his mango-pineapple smoothie.

 I thoroughly enjoyed my iced decaf. Unbeknownst to me, the attendant added a forbidden vanilla creme concoction which this person w diabetes, greedily slurped up.

See, if it's in my own power and I do these dastardly deeds, that's bad. But when it's accidentally done for me, that's okay.

Oh? My body can't tell the difference? Shucks.

I got diabetes from my kidney antirejection meds. I've gotta shlep my drug paraphernalia everywhere I go including to a wedding I'm going to later today.

Loads of family members are in town. Am hoping they'll come over to see the additions I put on the house.

My sister Amy from Oregon said to me, "Ruth, where'd you get the money?"

I think she was expecting me to say, "I borrowed it from Mommy."

I sold some of my Berkshire Hathaway stock.

AH, MANIA!

You are faithful, I’ll give you that, coming ‘round just in time for

Valentine’s Day.

You snuggle close and ask me to be yours. I smile knowingly and say,

Show me your virtues....if you have any.

You, in the guise of a gypsy with pots and pans strung across your back,

take down a few tarnished wares and hold them out to me.

I snort. Haven’t we been through all this before?

Then, as I touch your rouged cheek, I ask, Why won’t you give me up?

What am I to you?

Your gypsy eyes, ringed with soot, brush my face.

Okay, I say, it was good. I admit it.

I saw the stars with you.

We ran with the moon at our backs and

leaped across the sleeping earth.

You showed me the future in a

dead dog’s eye, then led me away

lest I drown in my own dream.

You spun sweet songs from the morning breeze

and trickled them through my hair.

You peeled back the world so I could dip inside.

Took the fire from the sun and winked it in my heart.

Okay, I say. You’re a friggin’ marvel, a regular storehouse of miracles.

But can’t we say goodbye?

It’s February and you’ve come back.

You always do.

I hear you breathing at my front door, soft as a kitten.

I’d know that sound anywhere.

Let me in, let me in, you whimper.

Can’t you be more original?

Once

I followed you

blissfully    blindly

never dreaming of deceit,

dazed by your taste for light and color

awed by your contempt of boundaries

so like my own

which you swept away

with a lion’s paw

while I cheered you on from the sidelines,

until I found myself

tethered insensate to a hospital bed.

And forgot I had a name.

Amid the tumult

amid the sea of screams,

the broken minds a-bob the

slicing waves like so many

wind-up clocks jangling out of time,

who should come ‘round but you.

Fancy!

There, amid the black,

the granite slab of eternity sawing through my chest,

you kissed my eyes and bid me see.

Ah, Mania,

My debt to you is incalculable,

simply beyond measure.

But no pots and pans today, dear Gypsy,

Put them away.

Today I travel alone

Fishing for words, as I do,

Fishing, sans you.

LATER ON I WILL WRITE A REQUIEM of some sort for Rob.

His father owned Bryn Mawr Stereo.

Rob Lokoff comes for lunch! - Scott's train set - Hello Phil Martino, miss you!

Rob is very easy to cook for. "I eat everything," he told me over the phone. We began with a salad that had spinach, kale, mushrooms, scallions, cukes, read more

 punkin seeds, sunflower seeds, and a dressing made with fresh lemon, fresh mint leaves from my garden, olive oil, and a tiny amount of balsamic vinegar so it wouldn't make me coff.

Rob is one of my favorite people in the world. His daughter Amy just graduated from American University in DC with a degree in art. She's looking for a job. This is a very talented family so I'm sure she'll find something she likes.

Main course was a delicious egg omelette with assorted veggies, left over from last nite's homemade pizza, and herbs from the well-watered garden.

It's raining right now at the US Open in Merion, PA. Today is "Practice Day."


Ground crews are clearing off water from the grass... heavy rains. Rob said Merion last hosted the Open in 1981.

Rob's son Jacob is working in one of the refreshment booths.

Everyone is hoping to see Tiger Woods. Even if you know nothing about golf, everyone knows Tiger.

He has an amazing ability to camouflage himself from public view.

We took Rob on a tour of our garden. He remembered the Rain Barrel from my blog. Here's the peach tree we bot at Home Depot. The peaches are two inches high and should be ready in August, we think.

Rob's best friend, Phil Martino, who lives in Cinnaminson, NJ, loves three things the most: drumming, trains, and old cars.

We waltzed over to Scott's to show Rob Scott's great train set in the basement.

Rob is helping Phil install a train set in one of the bedrooms, where Phil takes c/o of his 87-yo mom Terri.

You should have heard Rob speak with such knowledge about trains. Click to enlarge. He and Scott had a great conversation. Both of them learned from doing.

Rob and Phil will visit a great train store at Street Road and Bustleton. The best store used to be downtown but they moved out to Lancaster.

Scott said visiting a train store is like a kid in a candy shop.

Scott uses these as 'screen savers.' Very colorful and real looking.

At one point Scott turned off the lights and the gas lamps were lit up, as were some of the buildings, and the two trains were whooshing around the tracks and the whistle was blowing.

Rob took fotos from his Fiji camera to show Phil.

What a nice magnet you have on your car, Rob! He's worried someone will steal it, as they did Scott's. The thrill of stealing.

Rob commented that Scott had a lot of energy. That's b/c he's been on vacation for a week. Tonite the SEPTA train will take him back to work. The kid who loved trains got a job with SEPTA.

THE END

Memories of RHL and helping our brain to be its best by Michael Merzenich

 Scott and I went to pick up two things at CVS - Lantus - slo acting insulin - and Tachrylimus, antirejection med.

Now tomorrow many folks will attend our Kidneyversary. 

Note to Robert H Lokoff: Rob I sure wish you could come. Good lord, man, why did you have to die. He and I were good buddies. His impulsivity was one thing that did him in. 

I MISS YOU!

Wonder if there was an obit for him. 

Hold on. Here is his mother's obit. 

LOKOFF KAY ARLENE (nee Wolf)
December 28, 2017, of Palm Beach Gardens, Fl and Phila., PA. Beloved wife of Fred Lokoff; loving mother of Steven (Lisa) Lokoff, Robert Lokoff, Jamie (Jodi) Lokoff and the late Terri Lynne Lokoff; sister of David Wolf; cherished grand-mother of Jill, Amy, Jake, Sam, Taylor, Jackson, Lily and the late Jessica. Relatives and friends are invited to Memorial Services, Tuesday, 2:00 P.M. JOSEPH LEVINE AND SONS MEMORIAL CHAPEL, 4737 Street Road, Trevose, PA. Shiva will be observed at the residence of Jodi and Jamie Lokoff. In lieu of flowers, contributions in her memory may be made to the Terri Lynne Lokoff Child Care Foundation (www.tllccf.org).

....

Where will everyone sleep?

I will either sleep in my own bed or go to Scott's.

Someone will sleep in the family room on Aunt Ethel's couch. Our niece Niki gave us inflatable beds that we can use.

Am listening to WRTI-FM -  Toccata in E Minor by Bach - am trying to stretch my brain since my cognition is impaired. Last night on PBS there was a memory show with this one man who discovered the neuroplasticity of the brain. 

He knows what each part of the brain is responsible for. 

Ashleigh Banford was the host. 

His name was something like Michael Merzenich. Yes, that is it. 

Click here. 

The BrainHQ brain-training program represents the culmination of 30 years of research in neurological science and related medicine. It was designed by an international team of neuroscientists, led by Michael Merzenich—a professor emeritus in neurophysiology, member of the National Academy of Sciences, co-inventor of the cochlear implant, and Kavli Prize laureate.

In great detail, last night, they described the cochlear implant and how it worked. One woman who had lost her hearing in an accident said, Why this is just the way I used to hear ! She was so delighted.

And of course a deaf man won best supporting actor at the Academies thother night. We did have two deaf folks in ND but I dunno what happened to them. 

And of course in the film/book The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, Alan Arkin played a lonely deaf man who couldn't take it any more.

Carson McCullers died in Nyack NY. 

Final Farewell to Roberto, as I called him

If ever a family was touched by tragedy it was the Lokoffs. View the funeral here.

Terri Lynne was killed by a drunk driver.

Her parents began a wonderful foundation in her name.

Now as I write a postcard, I come across Rob Lokoff's address card.

Rob Lokoff, 300 West Elm Street, Suite 2310, Conshohocken, PA 19428

THE FINAL GOODBYE

We met ages ago when your dad owned Bryn Mawr Stereo
You were born to love music
You and your best friend Phil Martino
Now you dwell with the angels
In the Big Easy
Where they held you aloft
So you could play the piano
In your blue shirt
Free from all the
Shakespearean misery
that ruled your life.



RHL  - August 31, 1958 thru June 22, 2019

Walking Rails to Trails - Rob is in the newspaper

 This ole truck is rusting away.

 No trespassing says the sign, or else it says No hunting.

 Scott's wearing his Pennypack Creek Cleanup shirt with the teardrop in the middle.

Wah Wah Wah,

 Me and my new back pack. Should I get low I have a candy bar and glucose tabs. When I got home I ate an egg with mushrooms and cheese.

First, tho, I sat with Nancy Myers across the street and little Kalie barker. We watched the fireflies AND the bats, which dart in the evening sky.

Where do they live? Possibly in the little woods behind my house. She had a friend, Beatrice, who had bats in her attic, lying upside down, of course, which all had to be exterminated.

Mom just called to express her condolences about Rob Lokoff.

Ada and Rich found this article about Rob. View it here.



My god, Rob, you're in the paper. Another time when he was manic he drove thru a gas station and blew it up.

One year I had a birthday party. I invited everyone in New Directions. Certain people like Nick Breslin I asked to make certain foods. Nick made scrumptious baked mushrooms.

What a lark when Robert Howard Lokoff showed up.

Rest in peace, RHL !!!

Tiananmen: The People Versus The Party

Tuesday, June 25, 09:00 pm on WHYY

Duration: 1:56:46

Description: Uncover the true story of the seven-week period that changed China forever. On June 4, 1989, a violent and bloody pro-democracy demonstration ended, leaving thousands dead and laying the foundation for China's future.

[HD][CC]

Just finished watching this from footage smuggled out of Beijing. Utterly horrifying. Democracy? The scenes were so real... shooting at their own people,