Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Rip off! - Eyeglasses - Two poems published in Metazen - Netflix Chat - What poem to publish in the Compass?

Went to my eye doctor in Hatboro, PA. This was the first time I'd driven in the EIGHT INCHES of snow that slammed us last nite.

As my faithful nine readers know, I'm gonna have cataract surgery b/c I can't see to drive in the dark.

To do so, I must remove my contact lenses - sob sob - that I've been wearing since I was 18 yrs old - and wear regular eyeglasses for three weeks.

I began wearing glasses at the tender age of eight, third grade, Mercer School, Shaker Heights, Miss - OMG - for the first time I can't remember her name.

Five hours later: Miss Kathleen McClellan.

Maybe I should stop eating butter and cheese.

Anyway, the contacts distort your iris, so fulltime glasses are necessary.

The cheapest lenses are FIFTY DOLLARS.

Mr. Magoo refused to accept my Reading Glasses. "They're reading glasses. The lenses are glued in," he said. I put up a brief defense, not as good as the SeaHawks, and gave in.

When I slipped on the new glasses with the clear frames, I said, I can see perfectly.

This was a joke but he didn't get it.


Mr Magoo said the lenses - plus the 10 percent discount - will be TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS.

Some discount, I said.

He asked for a deposit.

I pulled a 20 outa my purse.

TWO OF MY FAVE UNPUBLISHABLE POEMS were picked up by a lit mag called Metazen. The poems are 'HOEDOWN AT THE LANDFILL' and 'CARDBOARD HOUSES.'

I love em both.

My bio is esp. good:

Ruth Z Deming runs a Writing Group in Willow Grove, PA, to encourage her to write poetry and short stories. Otherwise she would sit at home and watch film noirs on YouTube. Her poetry has been published in Mad Swirl, The River, Bellowing Ark and other venues.

I should've mentioned I watch Netflix, too, esp. b/c my boss gives me a long lunch hour.

Here's a CHAT I had with a Netflix representative: Sorry, but I can't straighten out the spacing. Read fast!

Thank you for contacting Netflix customer support.
Here is the transcript from your recent chat with customer support:
Netflix Susan

Thanks for contacting Netflix. I'm Susan. Who am I chatting with today?
You
susan, i tried watching the film The Rainmaker w Matt Damon but the volume is too low. can you guys reset it?
You
i'm ruth
Netflix Susan
Hi, Ruth. That's a great question--are all your shows playing in low volume, or just that one?
You
just this one, susan.
Netflix Susan
Thanks for that info, Ruth. So, what we need to do is flag that show so our research team can take a look at it and see what's going wrong. And, I'll go ahead and do that for you right now.
You
i appreciate it susan and will watch something else. i do luv my gift of netflix!!!
Netflix Susan
Glad to hear it and thank you for letting us know. It's the only way we know it's broken! They do look into these things pretty quickly, so give it a try again later tonight and hopefully, we'll have that sound back for you. :)
You
will do. havea a great nite!
Netflix Susan
You too, Ruth. And thanks again. And one more thing, if you wouldn’t mind, please stay online for a one question survey.

I NEVER TAKE SURVEYS cuz they cut into my movie-watching time.

Also, as I predicted, they never raised the volume on The Rainmaker and I can't hear it from my laptop.

SO, we're all finished with the Compass. Except I've got to publish one poem. Am thinking about my Superbowl Poem, which not one person likes.




I learned on Charlie Rose last nite when they were analyzing the Superbowl that Russell Wilson, above, reveres Peyton Manning, who singled him out, during a Football Training Camp. Wilson was a little kid.

2 comments:

  1. Did you have the surgery already. I am not clear.(Maybe I need it too. Joke!) Hope all went well. I read your poems and sent an email and commented. Good work!
    I never take the surveys either.

    ReplyDelete