I pretended I knew what I was doing!

Before I explain the title, lemme just mention the first thing that popped into mind when I began writing this post.

I pretended I knew what I was doing when I....and you can fill in your own blank.

I worked as a psychotherapist at The Atrium in Bensalem, PA. Yes yes Ruthie I know you wanna tell the vast audience who are tripping all ourselves to read your blog that you used to visit a Buddhist monestery on your lunch hour but let's not get tangential.

As the only group therapist there I taught a class on - what? don't tell me! you don't mean bipolar disorder do you?

You got it, gang. So I'm up there writing on the huge white Eraser Board, I told my students that the only reason I wanted to teach the class was so I could write with a marker on the silky board, which was mostly true, and then I said, I've got a handout for all of you.

Oh how I loved that copy machine! But I was always in a rush and didn't have time to staple the papers together. So I began stapling the packets with an ELECTRIC STAPLE GUN that Linda gave me.

Don't you know that I stapled the fleshy part of my thumb with the gun. Man, did it hurt! But you know what? I kept right on talking. I just pretended that I was used to stapling the fleshy part of my thumb, la-dee-da, and laboriously painfully extracted it while I kept talking.

No, I was not in an altered state like the monks who burn themselves alive though that may've popped in my mind.

Tonite I was invited to host a funeral in Philadelphia. I pretended I knew what I was doing when I spoke to the widow. Guitar music and poetry will be presented and guess who will read the poetry? If you guessed Ruth Zali Deming, you are correct!

I will send a postcard of thanks to the man who nominated me for the position. His name would mean nothing to you, Dear Reader, but it means all the world to me. When he called me this afternoon from his workplace and I saw the Caller ID light up with his company name, I answered it thus: "Arthur, can I call you back, I'm on the other line."

Arthur got me the gig. It's called networking.

Okay, Ruthie, back to work on your novel. My goal is to finish it in January. Tick tick tick.