Friday, February 26, 2016

Verizon Phone Bill - The Continuing Saga

Sorry to eat my Giant salad in front of you, but it's lunchtime here.

Met Terry Livorsi at the salad bar again and briefly told him my New Directions phone service was cut off for nonpayment of a bill, which of course I paid.

Terry's company has rehab services in Florida. They have 20 Verizon members in treatment for substance abuse.

When people finish rehab their families are given Narcan, protection from overdosing on opiods.

I called Verizon around 9 am.

These are very unpleasant calls for me to make. Why? Because you're gonna talk to people who have no idea what you're talking about. I have to repeat myself several times.

Are they on drugs?

You must take notes, of course, and document everything they say.

This was Laura from Massachusetts about an email they sent me that I hadn't paid my bill, which of course I had. She was good...brilliant...a genius compared with the nitwits I spoke with today. 

Today's call was taken by Tima, pronounced Teee-ma in St Louis.

May I have permission to open your account, she asked.

My account was all wrong.

About a year ago I signed up for Verizon email and FIOS. It was no faster than my Comcast internet so I discontinued it.

Cost $$$$ to remove it all.

Well, Verizon still thinks I have this service.

I had to CONVINCE Tima - and I mean convince - that I no longer have it.

Then - glory be! - she did find that I had paid my last Verizon bill.

I had checked my bank statements online before calling Verizon to triple-check that I paid them.

The new system at AMFCU is terrible! Teeny tiny print you can barely read. Perfect if you're Thumbelina.

Image result for thumbelina

Hmm, wonder if Netflix has the 1994 film.

They do! I put it on my List.

This is the actual size of the "Bill Payer" section. When they first installed it, they received hundreds of calls. No one could understand how to pay a bill.

Tima finally said, Oh yes, I see you have a zero balance. I'm gonna transfer you to our billing department - per my request - to get it straightened out once and for all.

She said she'll "text" the people over there, explaining what's going on.

When I was transferred over to Stacey, she had no idea what was going on.

Listen, I said, I'm hanging up.

And I did.

Hmmm. What shall I have for dessert? Plum out of Girl Scout Cookies.

Image result for thin mints

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