Friday, February 17, 2012

Sign Matt's Petition

My fabulous camera repair man, Matt Fuehrer, started a petition the other day.

Nikon Camera refuses to sell camera parts to anyone except 23 Nikon authorized repair facilities. Neither will it sell parts directly to consumers, claiming that the technology is too complex for anyone to understand except the authorized dealers.

Matt counters that few repairs are that difficult.

Read his petition here and sign it, like I just did.

Here's the article I wrote about Matt for Patch.com.

Psychiatrist Dr Kathy Schramm - Diabetes Support Group - Stutz Candy - The Camera Man: Matt Fuehrer

Warminster Hospital? Where dat? It's now owned by Abington Memorial Hospital and is no longer used as a hospital. They do, however, have rooms there for hospice.

I took a trial run yesterday at 11 am, going down the hallway to the Main Conference Room. Lo and behold there was a sign up: Diabetes Support Group. And Lynn Sinclair, who was one of my diabetes educators was leading a group of about 15 people.

She invited me to join and I stayed until the end. Very helpful! It's once a month and I shall return. I also learned that some insurance companies, which we know are among the richest corporations in America, always looking toward the bottom line, will not cover all forms of insulin.

For example, the popular, easy-to-use Novolog pen, which I use, is not covered by many insurances. Another outrageous example of the ineffective, mixed-up American healthcare system.

I told the Diabetes Group that riding my stationary bike quickly lowers my blood sugar.

Thother day, I was in the mood for a treat so when I passed Stutz Candy, across the street from the apartments where we used to live, I stopped in.

Imagine my surprise to find Sugar-free chocolate candies.

I tasted one, closed my eyes and concentrated, and it was - in a word - scrumptious.

I ordered five more. My fave is almond bark.
Ya know what? My camera won't download the photos I took last nite so after 4 pm, I'm running over to my camera man so he can help me. Thank you so much, Matt!

After I had eaten two pieces of sugar-free Stutz candy, I came home and took my blood sugar. It was 209 - quite high! Normal is 80 to 120. I went on my bike and lowered it, but only by 20 points.

I was puzzled until I just read what the Internet had to say about the two sweeteners used by Stutz.

Sorbitol is okay.

But maltitol syrup is definitely not. About.com pronounces it as more trouble than it's worth.

Next time I pass Stutz, I'll just pretend I'm eating almond bark, mint bark, chocolate truffles, peppermint patties and peanut butter patties.

Helen Kirschner who runs our Daytime Meetings at the Giant and I drove to Warminster Hospital. We got there 5 minutes before showtime.

There were no seats left.

Finally we found two contiguous ones in the back row.

I ran into a couple of people I knew whom you'll meet in the photos.

Kathy Schramm, co-owner of Southampton Psychiatric Associates, had spoken at New Directions many yrs ago. Two people from our group see her.

Schramm devoted most of her talk to children and adolescents w/depression and bipolar disorder.

She is very mindful of using drugs on young brains and admits that long-term side effects are unknown. But these kids are suffering terribly in the present, so you've really got to do something to help them.

Always pair meds w/psychotherapy, she said, and involve the parents and family in the treatment. She is a firm believer is educating her patients and their families about the child's illness.

EXCERPTS

A child w/mild to moderate depression doesn't need drugs. Use frequent psychotherapy several times a week.

Moderate to severe, she uses FDA-approved drugs - of which there are only 2 - Prozac for 8yo to adolescents - and Lexapro for ages 13 to 18.

Zoloft is a fave of Schramm's.

She also uses Celexa.

These are all SSRI's. If two SSRI's fail, then she moves to Cymbalta, which is an SNRI.

If there's no response in 8-12 wks she tries something else.

She watches her kids very carefully for suicidal ideation, a rare but terrible phenomenon in kids taking these meds.

She also works with TEACHERS at the child's school, explaining the need to watch the child.

How many psychiatrists do this?

She spoke about "genetic loading" meaning that it runs in your family, as it did in Schramm's. Her dad had major depression.

This is often why people want to be psychiatrists or psychotherapists. They are familiar with the condition, find it fascinating, and want to help others.

Certainly true for me. I became a therapist at 45 and am still practicing 20 yrs later. Am trying to get up my nerve to contact one of my teachers.

If a child has one parent w/BP, chances of their getting it are 27 to 30 percent. Fortunately my two lil darlings only have the BP that means 'beautiful people.'

BIPOLAR. As we know, psychiatrists are revamping the DSM - Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Psychiatric Disorders. The new one shall be called DSM-V.

There are two camps for the diagnosis of BP in kids:

1 - Same criteria as adults

2 - A 'broader, cleaner' diagnosis - kids are always irritable, moods change on a dime w/no discernible reason for it, profound temper tantrums.

I remembered this when I visited my g'dtr Grace at lunchtime. Grace is a true wonder. Great disposition. Loves to laff and play with her toys.

Joe Biederman of Harvard is trying to correct the diagnosis. Seems like the previous DSM accounted for major errors in diagnosing thousands of kids as having BP when they did not. Read this report, which also condemns Biederman for not disclosing his close ties w/the makers of Risperdal.

Any kid with severe temper tantrums was diagnosed as having bipolar disorder.

The new diagnosis for children will not use the stigmatizing term "bipolar" but, if the kid suffers from depression, the name will be changed to "an emotional regulation disorder w/dysphoria." It will also state it's a chronic condition that may last a lifetime.

Naming disorders is constantly changing. We don't know as yet the final name.

Lithium works well on kids as numerous studies have shown.

Depakote, however, does not.

Approved for mania for adolescents are Abilify, Seroquel, Zyprexa and Risperdal. I was on Risperdal for my manias and liked it very much. No side effects for me.

Zyprexa, in particular, causes metabolic syndrome and weight gain.

Often, children and teens so identify with their illness that it's all they think about, don't see themselves as a whole person with other attributes than the mood disorder. "You never want that to happen," she said. "We work with their strengths."

Again, dyou know of any other shrinks who do dis?

She advocates that when bipolar kids go to college they stay close to home, until their illness is under control, and they take fewer classes than are recommended, so they won't have too much stress.

Kids drink in college. Yum! My first discovery was apricot brandy at Goddard College. She asks them to keep drinking to a minimum and knows how difficult it is.

One patient admitted she was depressed for a week after "just one beer."

Also suggests regular bedtimes, exercise and eating right.

These are all tenets of New Directions Support Group.

Smart woman!

TRILEPTAL, she said, is a useless drug. It's a derivative of the mood-stabilizer, anti-epileptic Tegretol. I don't know anyone who's on it. Studies show it doesn't work. Shramm is constantly citing studies.

She had an interesting young man as a patient who, at 8 yrs old, presented w/Tourette's syndrome, OCD, and possibly bipolar. From my seat in the back row, I could barely hear her.

By age 19, he was off all meds!

She also had a man in his fifties or sixties who wanted to go off his lithium. Reluctantly, Kathy took him off and he, sadly, killed himself.

At this point, I raised my hand.

"Hi, Dr Schramm," I said. "I'm Ruth Deming of New Directions Support Group. I was diagnosed w/bipolar disorder one, went off lithium b/c it was ruining my kidneys," pointing to my lower right abdomen, "and my daughter gave me her kidney."

"When I went off the lithium at age 58," I continued, as I sat next to Helen, "I never had another mood swing again.

"However, my psychiatrist, Larry Schwartz, did not titrate me off the lithium - very important - and I was suicidal for eight months."

Okay, I'm off to the camera shop.

Matt Fuehrer, owner of Authorized Camera Repair in Willow Grove.

He gave me a new cord, which did the trick. Now I can show you:

Helen Kirschner, the woman who runs our daytime meetings at the Giant and also w/husband Larry hosts our bonfires in the spring and fall, came over for dinner prior to Kathy Schramm's talk.

She came over super-early. I was at Scott's taking a nap, but she let herself in and made herself at home. When I found her, she had made a cup of tea. Thankfully, it wasn't Bill the burglar who lives on the next street.

I made a delicious stirfry and served my fabulous nut concoction for dessert: peanuts, raw punkin seeds, sunflower seeds, golden raisins and chopped almonds all sprinkled with nutritional yeast.

After Schramm's talk, Helen and I talked with some friends.

LEFT TO RIGHT.

Betsey is a very active mental health advocate. Every time I see her she's doing something new.

Debbie Moritz in the long white coat is the wonderful head of National Alliance on Mental Illness - NAMI - Bucks County Chapter. She organized the program and plans another big program focusing on Resiliency: Families and Children.

Will is Betsey's husband. They live in Doylestown.

Rainey is their son, an English teacher and Special Ed teacher at Tamanend Middle School. Note to Rainey: I'm reading a wonderful book by Pat Conroy called "My Reading Life." He devotes much time to his former English teacher, Gene Norris, who changed his life, as well as thousands of other kids' lives.

Helen Kirschner. I gave Helen a tour of my house and showed her my brand-new carpets. I'm on a spending spree. Hmmm, maybe the bipolar has come back!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A Sunny Day for Aaron's Funeral / Poem: Best Friends until Age Pulled us Apart

My friend Aaron Ryesky, age 86, died peacefully at the Artman Home over the weekend. Today, Valentine's Day, his family buried him. Altho I didn't go to the graveside service in northeast Philadelphia, I sat shiva at their former residence in Maple Glen.

Funeral arrangements were made by son Ken, an Orthodox Jew, and his wife Tammi. Their own rabbi drove in from Long Island to conduct the service.

They brought food from Long Island. Mindful of my diabetes, I munched on pastrami and mustard, no bread, and delicious cole slaw that must've used vinegar.

I allowed myself one sweet: an apricot-filled hamantaschen. Is Purim on the way?

I wanted to do something for my friend Helene, Aaron's widow. What could I do? How can you comfort someone who has not only lost her lifetime companion but has been ousted by necessity from the home she loved so much.

Age does that to us. Some people can no longer care for themselves. I'm lucky that my 89-yo mom has my sister Ellen to watch over her.

Never, said Helene to me, have your mom move into a nursing home.

Helene at home in better days.

I decided to write a poem . I was really nervous and asked God's help to compose a decent poem, even though I don't believe in God. Before I began, I brewed four cups of decaf for strength.



Maybe god is in the decaf.

My first draft was really terrible. Then I worked on it some more, and read it out loud to two of my poetry critics - Judy Lipshutz and Aunt Selma in Cleveland. She's 93.

It passed muster, so I tucked it into my pocketbook and drove over to Maple Glen.

Cars lined the street and the cul-de-sac.

Childhood friends of Ken turned up. So did the neighbors and assorted friends.


THEY WERE MY BEST FRIENDS UNTIL AGE PULLED US APART

Note: in Jewish folklore, a dybbuk is an evil spirit

Come for dinner, she’d urge, but you mustn’t be late
down went my pen as I drove to the corner house on Bauman Drive
hi, honey, I'd joke, I'm home.

the African violets looked on
as we ate in the many-windowed dining room
Aaron, his shaggy-rug eyebrows gone white,
passed the grated beet and carrot salad
while we talked politics and god and the chuppah
left over in the backyard

age, that dybbuk,
let himself in
and made himself comfortable
the once-proud house shook
with his tricks

the staircase,
his playground,
stout-hearted Aaron
crumpled and fell

Helene and I drove to the rehab
- is her green Olds still in the garage? -

Behold the man
at rest in his room
rubber-souled booties
and blue hospital gown
hi, honey, we’re here
his eyes opening wide
arms at his sides

the man who never complained
the man who effortlessly did
Times crosswords and jigsaw puzzles

I only made one mistake while you were
alive, dear Aaron,
I forgot to say "I love you"

I'll tell Helene
the artist you chose for your bride
engineer and artist: dynamite combination

Please pass the licorice.

Happy Valentine's Day - 28th anniv of my first Manic-Psychotic episode - Poem: Ah, Mania!


In 1984, when I was 38 yrs old, I had my first manic-psychotic episode. Like most psychotic individuals I had no idea what was going on save for a small "island of reality" which said, "Am I having a nervous breakdown?"

At the time I was an athlete and regularly played volleyball and tennis. Hello former tennis partner Dr Eisenman. Six months before my breakdown, I lost motor coordination and could no longer serve a volleyball or do my tennis serve.

To compensate I would practice for an hour before a game. I often ask that question to folks who have had a breakdown: Did you lose motor coordination? It's all about the brain and the nervous system.

My brain began to break the morning of Feb. 13. I had unaccustomed energy and began doing crazy things like calling the New Yorker to tell them I was a great writer. I also called Life magazine and typed up a query letter to them to see if I could write for them.

It was written in all punctuation marks.

When I pushed my mother down on the cold February ground at the corner of Masons Mill Park, here in Upper Moreland, she hailed a car and asked them to call the police.

I was carted off by the Upper Moreland Police Dept. to Montgomery County Emergency Service, then housed in Bldg. 16 on the grounds of Norristown (PA) State Hospital, where I spent the worst three days of my life.

When we arrived, I thought they'd taken me to a southern mansion.

The worst part of the stay was I was terrorized by an aide named Howard. But the patients were super-nice and helped me around in my utterly perplexed state.

As a single divorced mom of two children, Sarah was 10, Daniel, 8, my priority was to get home and attend to their needs.

Finally, my sister Donna drove me home through the numbered gates. I was never hospitalized again.

I was summarily fired from my part-time job as asst. editor of Art Matters monthly newspaper.

After diagnosis, I faithfully took my lithium and when I got psychotic, which I knew was approaching, would take an antipsychotic. These ranged from Haldol, Risperdal, and Navane.

At age 56, we discovered lithium was ruining my kidneys, so I went off. Within several years, it was clear that my bipolar disorder had vanished. At age 66, I haven't had a moment of depression or mania.

And who knew that my adorable 10-yr-old daughter Sarah, who I left behind when I was hospitalized, would donate her kidney to me in 2011, in a life-saving operation.

These are the happiest days of my life.

My Valentine Wish for my readers is to do everything in your power to live a good life. We only live once. If you have a mood d/o read my Keys to Recovery here.

AH, MANIA!

You are faithful, I’ll give you that, coming ‘round just in time for
Valentine’s Day.
You snuggle close and ask me to be yours. I smile knowingly and say,
Show me your virtues....if you have any.
You, in the guise of a gypsy with pots and pans strung across your back,
take down a few tarnished wares and hold them out to me.
I snort. Haven’t we been through all this before?
Then, as I touch your rouged cheek, I ask, Why won’t you give me up?
What am I to you?
Your gypsy eyes, ringed with soot, brush my face.
Okay, I say, it was good. I admit it.
I saw the stars with you.
We ran with the moon at our backs and
leaped across the sleeping earth.
You showed me the future in a
dead dog’s eye, then led me away
lest I drown in my own dream.
You spun sweet songs from the morning breeze
and trickled them through my hair.
You peeled back the world so I could dip inside.
Took the fire from the sun and winked it in my heart.
Okay, I say. You’re a friggin’ marvel, a regular storehouse of miracles.
But can’t we say goodbye?

It’s February and you’ve come back.
You always do.
I hear you breathing at my front door, soft as a kitten.
I’d know that sound anywhere.
Let me in, let me in, you whimper.
Can’t you be more original?
Once
I followed you
blissfully....blindly
never dreaming of deceit,
dazed by your taste for light and color
awed by your contempt of boundaries
so like my own
which you swept away
with a lion’s paw
while I cheered you on from the sidelines,
until I found myself
tethered insensate to a hospital bed.
And forgot I had a name.

Amid the tumult
amid the sea of screams,
the broken minds a-bob the
slicing waves like so many
wind-up clocks jangling out of time,
who should come ‘round but you.
Fancy!
There, amid the black,
the granite slab of eternity sawing through my chest,
you kissed my eyes and bid me see.

Ah, Mania,
My debt to you is incalculable,
simply beyond measure.
But no pots and pans today, dear Gypsy,
Put them away.
Today I travel alone
Fishing for words, as I do,
Fishing, without you.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Part Two of Borderline Seminar - Let's meet for coffee in the Giant Coffeeshop - Message from Coach Iris

I love meeting at the Giant Coffeeshop after one of our seminars. Here's lovely Jan Styger and Helen Kirschner, who runs our daytime meetings.

Say hello to Chong Choi Park who I met for the first time today. I asked him if he were related to Ken Choi whose wife is altering a pair of my pants donated to me by my niece Nikki. Ken taught engineering at Drexel but health issues made it difficult so he started his own laundry. I didn't tell him about my own kidney transplant or back surgery. In fact, altho they happened within a year, I've forgotten about both of them.

But not my diabetes, brought on by my antirejection meds, esp. Prograf and Prednisone.

That's why, after the seminar, I went to the food stalls looking for a healthy snack. I found one at the Chinese booth: steamed green beans and chicken. Delicious!!!

This morning my sister Donna came over directly from her job at Starbux to inspect my new carpets. Here, she and boyfriend Scott are discussing politics.

Since Reagan, he told her, the government is owned by corporations, especially the banks and Wall Street.

Obama and all the other presidential candidates must "sell their souls" in order to be elected.

I said if I were offered a million dollar salary to run New Directions and were TOLD what to do, I'd never do it. Perhaps a million and a half?

Here I am eating my million-dollar chili before the meeting. Donna liked it too. She asked what the strong taste was inside?

Could it be:

fibers of my new carpet?

stinkbugs, found hiding on top of my poetry pile?

a cinnamon stick?

You can't imagine my relief that I'm now able to upload my photos. Which reminds me, have you checked the best photojournalist of em all? Bill Hess?

Goddard College Clocktower.

MY FRIEND IRIS ARENSON-FULLER is a life coach. We met at Goddard College in Plainfield VT on the banks of the Winooski River. Coach Iris is offering a "special" on her coaching services. If interested, and I hope you are, here tis:

"I have a new contest going, which can be found at http://www.lifecoachingdeals.com Check this out to get more info.
I am looking for help getting more subscribers to my blog, in order to reach and help more people. The contest will run for 2 months and the person who subscribes, publicizes this to others and gets the most subscribers for me, will receive a check for $50 directly from me. "

Talya Lewis on Borderline Personality Disorder - Another great talk at the Giant Supermarket

Talya Lewis, dynamic speaker on Borderline Personality Disorder. Email Talya - pronounced Ta-LEE-uh - at bpdsupport@comcast.net. Here's her website. She sees clients at her Society Hill office.

We had a great turnout - over 26 people. Here's some people who attended:

Margie Peters, head of the Upper Moreland Public Library. I gave her a donation today in memory of the death of the former director Lillian Burnley two years ago followed by the death of her husband Bob, just recently.

In the Burnleys' name, I chose books about diabetes and preserving your kidneys so you won't have to go on dialysis. Here's a post I wrote about Lillian last December, see bottom part of post.

I also asked them to buy some CDs by my son/law Ethan Iverson of The Bad Plus.

Here's Johannes Brahms Ponsen, who can never run for president of the US, b/c he was born in the Netherlands where they do inhale legally. Johannes runs our Daytime Meetings at the Giant Supermarket when Helen is out of town or skiing. Each does a great job!

Last but not least are Sharon Katz on the right, owner of Collaborative Care mental health agency in Abington and one of her therapists Martine Susko. I met Martine, who lives in Blue Bell, when I left the Giant. She'd gone shopping and had a big gallon of milk in her cart. She does a lot of cooking, she said.

At meeting's end, Sharon, a prescribing nurse practitioner and therapist, said she'd like to speak at one of our Giant meetings, so I marched us over to Robin Franklin and we set up a meeting in March. These meeting rooms go fast, so seiz-a la moment!

Here's Brian who graduated from culinary school. He's a chef at Rosey's BBQ in Jenkintown, formerly Abner's. See their FANTASTIC website here. I love tattoos!

I always ask how people found us. One woman, the mother of a woman w/BPD read a notice in the Intelligencer. A couple found us on Msn.com under Events. Mon dieu! Those hard-working robots picked it up perhaps from our website.

Talya told the group that she has written her memoir about her struggles with borderline, one of her proudest achievements. She is seeking an agent. I sent her a no. of resources to help her, since I run a Writer's Workshop at this very same Giant.

The only thing I don't do is sleep at the Giant.

In our 2009 Compass mental health mag, we featured the longest story we've ever run: Talya's story about overcoming borderline. Yes, it's that fascinating. Plus her will to recover, which she told the spellbound group was like a "switch going off in her head" when she was 15, and institutionalized at Horsham Clinic.

When asked how she overcame the illness, she laffed and said, I really don't know.

Indominitable will.

She told us horror stories about how she began to pop her parents' pills at age 8, at 10 hammered out her teeth cuz she thot they were ugly, at 12 began to impulsively shoplift and felt suicidal for the first time.

Impulsivity is a trait of borderline. "Studies show we have less serotonin in our brains and that controls the way we handle impulses." Of course, she said, we can learn to control them.

At 14, when her family moved from the midwest to Philadelphia, she developed an eating disorder and cutting behavior.

She discovered, to her shock, that cutting actually made her feel good inside. "It releases endorphins," she said. Talya was referred to a therapist and three of them refused to treat her. "Come back when you're well," joked Talya, "and then we'll treat you."

From ages 16 to 21 she was institutionalized at Horsham. She lacked education and didn't earn a high school degree. When she was discharged from Horsham she did two important things, even tho she was still ill, she got a job and entered college, earning a B.A.

This is one determined woman.

Factors that helped her heal: "I felt secure," she said. "Even tho I didn't like my psychiatrist and thought he was arrogant, he was predictable and I needed that. I needed structure and boundaries," which she got from him and also the staff at Horsham.

Later on, she spoke to her shrink as a colleague and told him why she objected to parts of his treatment.

Hopefully people at New Directions can do the same when their 'healers' are hindering their progress. We do maintain a Top Doc / Top Therapist List.

Okay, I've gotta hurry up, cuz Scott and I are gonna watch The Misfits (Clark Gable & Marilyn Monroe) tonite and make a pizza from scratch with whole wheat dough. Guess where he bought said dough? Pizza stone he bot at his fave store: Sears.

While agreeing that some medication may be helpful for borderline patients, she said that there's no medication that can address the behavioral symptoms of the condition.

Patients with borderline are uncomfortable in their own skins - called internal locus of control - so uncomfortable, they're in constant psychic anguish.

Therefore they blame external events for their problems, b/c their internal self has not been developed. "It's always the other person's fault," said Talya. "The other person is always to blame."

We all know people like that.

A key problem a borderline person faces is difficulty with relationships, especially the fear of abandonment, "and will do just about anything to stay in that relationship."

They also have great difficulty envisioning the future. If you're undergoing severe trauma - say, what's going on in Afghanistan - how can you possibly think of the future. And the individual has been traumatized in their early life.

Although they might be extremely intelligent, they are "exquisitely sensitive," and their developmental age or emotional age ranges from 18 months to 6 years old. This must be taken into account in conversations. We had several parents or relatives in the audience who nodded their heads when Talya mentioned this.

DBT - dialectical behavioral therapy - is often suggested for treatment. Talya acknowledged it's a fine treatment but said it didn't address the root of the problem which is necessary for a full recovery. She quoted Freud who recommended the following treatment:

- Remember

- Re-enact (the trauma)

- Recover.

Talya succeeded in the intensely painful work of doing all the three.

Two percent of Americans have borderline, more people than have schizophrenia or bipolar disorder.

Unlike the other two, by working very very hard, borderline can be overcome.

After the seminar, I always like to meet in the downstairs coffeeshop to digest the event. I took some great photos BUT goggle blogger said I've used up all my photo space.

So, for $5 I've bought more space per their website. We'll see when I'm able to upload photos of Helen Kirscher, formerly our Mall Queen, now Queen of the Giant; Chung Choi Park, and Jan Styger, gardener extraordinaire.