Ask me Why I've Got 3 Kidneys / Letter to the Chief

Okay, I admit it, I'm procrastinating. I've got a homework assignment from my fantastic poetry class and I've got 4 writing assignments from the online newspaper Patch.com.

Read my latest Patch story here on two artists - Alan and Elaine Klawans - who live a couple streets around the corner.

Here's Alan's The Ultimate Fish:



Back to the kidney beans. Just ordered a T-shirt with the above "Ask me Why" caption.

I am planning on surviving the operation and living a long happy life. I wanna take up my artwork again. And I have all these classes planned, for....

I am an educator.

Here's an attempt to educate my transplant team. I mailed this letter yesterday on New Directions stationery to the head of the Einstein transplant team. The dude has no idea who I am.

In essence, they tell you nothing about the operation until TWO DAYS BEFORE IT HAPPENS. Sheer insanity.

March 7, 2011


Dear Dr Zhivago (pseudonym)

Re: My kidney transplant on April 1

I am very much looking forward to having you and your transplant team give me a new kidney on Friday, April 1.

My daughter Sarah will be my donor.

I have thoroughly read the informative literature that came in the packet I received from your office last May of 2010.

I do have one important suggestion, however, which I believe would help not only me but the thousands of other transplant recipients who will come after me.

In essence, I need more information about the transplant and I need it soon.

Your current policy is that during the week of the transplant, I will meet with the transplant team and learn what to expect during the operation and afterward when I take the antirejection drugs.

Quite frankly, Dr Z, two days prior to the operation (as was originally scheduled) is not enough time to prepare the patient of the enormity of the operation and the life changes that will take place.

I propose, with all due respect, that the patient is prepared at least six weeks before the operation.

As a psychotherapist, I know full well that it takes the mind a long time to process such new information.

I am meeting with my wonderful transplant coordinator Ms. Nightingale (pseudonym) this Wednesday, March 9. She will answer my every question and has agreed to take me over to the hospital to see where I will be confined.

I had to flood her with questions, such as, How long will I be hospitalized? She mentioned I’ll be in the ICU for at least 24 hours. At least I found that out.

These are vital pieces of information that a well-informed patient such as myself absolutely must know.

Simply put yourself in my place!

As director of the largest support group in Philadelphia for people with bipolar disorder and depression, I set all the policies for the 100 members who depend on me and my wonderful team to make their lives better through their life’s journey with these treatable brain illnesses.

Hopefully, Dr Z, you will carefully consider my suggestions and implement them. I would be most happy to assist you on this.

See you soon.

Sincerely,

THANK YOU SO MUCH, MS. DEMING.



I asked myself, Where can I put these shells. And then I spied this shapely vahz.

The power of advertising! Every morning I read Patch.com. Someone did an article on Weinrich's Bakery right around the corner. Today is a special day, the day before Lent, and Weinrich's makes these special fastnacht doughnuts.

I am here to testify that they are simply spectacular. I chose the one w/ the raspberry-jelly filling. I let it sit on my kitchen table since I was expecting my sister Donna to come over. When she didn't, I ate the whole thing. I ate it both inside and outside. I was fully in the present moment when I ate that darn thing, walking outside into the clear air and showing Mr Fastnacht to my two purple crocus and one snowdrop over by the side of the house.

And tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow (who wrote dat?) I'll go over and buy another. Can't beat it at 99 cents apiece.


But mostly, nothing gives me as much pleasure as writing a good poem.